My last top ten list of the year!
This year was a fairly good year, as a whole, minus the whole pandemic flare up here at the end. Here are some of my most important "ah-has"-
1. You can do a lot of with a drain snake, vinegar, and baking soda- There's more to this, really, besides my newfound talent at cleaning out drains ALL BY MYSELF. House woes cause me an exceptional amount of worry- one of my top five anxiety triggers. But, I'm getting better at figuring things out and reassuring myself that with a credit card and a phone you can get anyone to fix anything, really.
2. OPI nail polish is worth it- I resisted painting my nails my whole life, because I hate chips. I've seen the light in $10 a bottle polish. I've also always hated my super dry hands, so this makes me feel like they're not as ugly.
3. Nature will always be there for me- A lot has gone down in my life in the last three-ish years (plus the pandemic) and there has been a lot resulting instability. Besides my friends (see below), nature is the one constant that is always there for me. There will always be trails, the ocean, trees, and parks to escape to. The sense of peace I get when looking at trees or mountains is so reassuring.
4. "Build yourself a boat"... a few years ago I read a poetry collection with this title and the sentiment has always stayed with me. If you want something done right, you have to take charge and do it for yourself. Save yourself. Be in control.
5. I have the best friends- I know at any given moment if I need something I have at least five or six people I can call who will back be up asap.
6. Auto-renewing coffee and dog food really do make life easier- Seriously.
7. It's okay if a relationship doesn't work- Sometimes it's okay to accept that a relationship with someone isn't going to work. Why go through the pretenses of faking it when personalities just don't click? It's okay to hope the best for someone, part ways, and move on. I fully believe in doing the work if both parties want to, but if not, there are so many other ways to focus our energy. I think it's fine to leave the door cracked for the future, but if things don't work for the present it's totally cool.
8. My son is going to have to figure shit out at school for himself- I mean I knew this after him being in childcare since he was a baby, but now that he's in a really public school all day for the first time, I have had to accept that he has to figure things out socially, with his teacher, logistically, etc... on his own. And he can, because he's a smart, strong, independent kid. I can give him advice and ask questions, but it comes down to the choices he inevitably makes.
9. I will never wear the shorts I wore in 2013 in the Caribbean again and it is okay to toss them- They're way too short and the pattern is dated, good bye.
10. It's okay that I define myself by my productivity- I know the big trend right now is to fight this and take more time to relax, but I don't want to. This is who I am- I need to be busy, I need to cross things off my to-do lists, and that is okay. I get super depressed when I am stagnate and that's not good. My version of self-care is getting shit done in a timely manner (and yes, I do put things on my to-do lists like "read 100 pages" or "play with Sawyer" or "watch a show on the treadmill" so that I can sneak in things like that).
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