Books on Your Back- Off With Her Head!

While I must admit to never reading one (historical fiction isn't really my bag, um, baby- I had forgot about that movie until this exact second), I know for sure there are many, many books on poor Marie Antoinette. This sweatshirt from Threadless definitely captures her ultimate fate. What's cool is that when you zip it up, you bring her back to life. It's like playing God.

She's alive!
And now she's dead.
Oh, wait, back alive!
I could go on all day.

And, speaking of shirts, I won one! I really don't know if I've ever won anything cool before, except a mooing cow that spit out bubbles at yearbook camp last summer, so I'm psyched. Thanks to Eat, Drink, and Be Meiri for the shirt from her experience running for the Tosh.0 show (until it airs all we know is that it involves many, many people in a park on treadmills... oh, the irony).

Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Authors I'd Die to Meet (and Invite to a Dinner Party)


So I'm starting to get into these writing memes that are popping up- it's a great way to find new literary blogs, not to mention a nice break from thinking up my own topics. I know technically it's not Tuesday yet, but we'll round up.

This Top Ten Tuesday comes from The Broke and the Bookish and asks us to narrow it down to ten authors we'd like to meet. I'm thinking one big literary dinner party/potluck. My picks:

1. Hunter S. Thompson- The man was all kinds of crazy! He'd probably bring the booze.

2. Fyodor Dostoyevski- This Russian genius is the author of my all-time favorite novel, Crime and Punishment. Will put him in charge of the drinks with Thompson- I'm sure he could get his hands on some great vodka.

3. Isabel Allende- I've been a fan of Allende since high school, when we read House of the Spirits. I attended one of her readings last year and she was hilarious and feisty. Homemade empanadas, por favor!

4. Christopher McDougall- While not a novelist, McDougall wrote my favorite running book, Born to Run, about ultra-marathoners. I'd love to pick his brain and pick up some pointers. The man is addicted to some sort of seeds (forget what kind- chia?)- perhaps he could grind some up into bread or muffins.

5. Salman Rushdie- Every dinner proper dinner party needs some political controversy- Rushdie would have that covered, as he has faced exile, arrest, and plenty of backlash. I must admit, I'm not big on Indian food, but I suppose I'd be willing to try a good curry (just not too spicy).

6. Jonathan Safran Foer- Oh, Jonathan. Please tell me how you did it. So young, so smart, so successful. Tell me your secrets and I'll read Eating Animals and give up meat. Obviously he's bringing the salad.

7. John Irving- John Irving novels are the gourmet comfort food of literature- like macaroni and cheese with truffle oil (which is what he'd bring). My favorite is probably The World According to Garp, and no matter how long his new books get I'll always give them a try eventually.

8. TC Boyle- Author of one of my favorites, Tortilla Curtain, I would love to have a few minutes face to face with this man. I also saw him read, and he is so incredibly smart and quirky. He'd probably show up with something random like a box of cornflakes or a can of garbanzo beans (his outfit would be the best- when I saw him speak he had on a while suit, black shirt, and a some sort of hat).

9. Zadie Smith- This lady is going to be around for a long time. She's opinionated, talented, and articulate. At times she gets crap for being a little too condescending, but we all have out flaws. Read On Beauty and you'll forgive her. She seems like a classy lady- maybe a bouquet of lilies for the hostess?

10. Paolo Giordano- The author of The Solitude of Prime Numbers is not only smart, but Italian and easy on the eyes. It's only fitting he bring the dessert- cannoli, of course.

My prediction: Thompson and Dostoyevsky would get drunk, Smith and Rushdie would end up in a fist fight, and Allende would try to seduce Foer. Good times.

Who would you like to meet?

Nonfcition Nagging-Run!

This installment of Nonfiction Nagging is killing three birds with one stone. Run! by Dean Karnazes is an Amazon Vine text they sent me to review, a much needed motivator before the San Francisco Half Marathon I'm doing on the 31st, and my nonfiction book this month.

I wish I could say this was the best running book ever, but I can't. For those of you that aren't familiar with Dan Karnazes, the ultramarathon man, he's kind of an attention whore and has a bit of an ego. But, the man can run. And by run I mean he eats marathons for breakfast. We're talking endurance runs that cover hundreds of miles on rough terrain.

The actual running narratives were interesting. He describes his experiences running the Badwater Ultra (135 miles in the Mojave Desert), the 4 Deserts Challenge (Atacama, Gobi, Sahara and Antarctica), and the Regis and Kelly record breaking attempt of running for over 240 miles in 48 hours (this was a little too showboat for me, but at least he took his defeat well). He's done 50 marathons across 50 states, and has recently ran cross country to promote youth exercise (he actually ran at the high school I teach at with students from our school district... I opted to not pay to participate). I find ultras fascinating- there is so much preparation in regards to gear, support teams, and mental well-being that has to be done. Halves seem like a cake walk (right)- shoes, a few Shot Bloks, water, the Garmin, and off you go.

I didn't love his ego, of course, the sections written by his wife and kids, nor the ass-kissing letters from fans that he included ("Oh Dean, you saved my life, you're me hero, blablabla"). It also really bothers me that the subscript to the title is "26.2 stories of blisters and bliss" when the man focuses on ultras. Nitpicky, I know.

I think the overall message behind this book is that everyone needs to find some sort of physical activity they are passionate about and go for it. You don't have to be as intense as Karnazes, or enter contests, but for you physical and mental health you should commit to exercise. I've been consistently exercising for about seven years and I do it to stay sane and prevent feeling like I need to constantly diet (if I did diet I'd actually look like I've been working out consistently for seven years). Days or weeks that I miss physical activity I feel myself getting cranky, worrying too much, and lacking energy. Studies have shown that consistent exercise reduces your risks for cancer, obesity, cardiovascular disease, depression, anxiety, and possibly even Alzheimer's.

Get off your ass and move!

Mail Call Ya'll

I love the word "ya'll." It makes me think of Britney Spears, which then makes me laugh (she ran around with a shaved head and an umbrella, people! The woman is hilarious). Plus, it rhymes with "call," which was convenient. Anyway, I'm going to skip the "oops I've done it again" nonsense and get to the point- I got a few new books in the mail yesterday.

1. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote- I feel not one ounce of guilt over this one, since it's what my AP sophomores are reading this summer (very excited to teach an AP class, by the way). Our department chair chose the novel, and I am actually excited she picked something I haven't read before. It seems pretty high interest, so I'm optimistic. Oh, and bonus points for the $9.00 tax-write off.

2. Indian Killer by Sherman Alexie- Another novel I didn't choose but am excited for, this one being for book club. It's gotten some great reviews and seems like it will a smart, intense read.

3. Into T
hin Air by Jon Krakauer- I'm a sucker for free shipping, so I needed something to push me up to $25 and this has been on my wish list for a long time. I purposefully didn't read it before climbing Half Dome last year (it's about the Everest Disaster), but I don't anticipate any crazy hikes or mountain climbing anytime soon, so I'm safe.

Three books farther away from reading all the ones I own.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

An effective author makes his or her readers think, and that's exactly what Benjamin Hale did in his controversial novel The Evolution of Bruno Littlemore. Just to warn you, this post isn't a review (coming at the end of the month), and it does have a few spoilers of sorts (I don't give away the ending, though). Anyway, this novel definitely made me ponder a few things I hadn't dedicated much time to before, or at least not recently.

Bestiality

Whoa, nelly. Yup, bestiality, or I guess zoophilia (please, please for the love of God do not Google this- it's basically the same as bestiality). In the novel Bruno Littlemor
e and the scientist, Lydia, who brings him in to her home end up developing a consensual sexual relationship that results in her pregnancy, which is not carried to term (read the book to find out why not). Bruno isn't an ordinary monkey, though, as he ends up fully acquiring language and can function in society on his own, to some degree. He is also the one that pursues the relationship with Lydia, who takes awhile to warm up to the idea and feels a great deal of remorse.

Verdict: I'm a liberal gal, but I can't get on board with this concept, even if the primate species gets to the point where this kind of evolution does occur. T
he book is not necessarily trying to convince you that it's acceptable, but it does make you consider what sort of "alternative" lifestyles and relationships you are comfortable with. If the urge strikes, ask your significant other to wear a costume.

Evolution

Speaking of evolving, this novel raises the questions of what other species may be one day capable of. As we know, humans and primates
are closely related, and our evolutionary cousins have exhibited a great deal of potential as far as language acquisition and physical competency. So, the question is, could chimpanzees, or any other primate, evolve to the point where they act more human-like? Bruno consciously makes the decision to distance himself from his species and do everything possible to look and act like a human, including wearing clothes, bathing, watching television, speaking, reading, and even getting a nose job.

Verdict: If single-cell organisms can eventually turn
into complex beings, I'd say anything is possible on the evolution train. Do I think it's necessarily probable? No, at least not in my lifetime! Evolution frequently occurs because the adaptation is necessary to survival, and at this point putting on a pair of shoes and using a toilet isn't going t help a chimp. There are also complex issues regarding linguistics on a neurological level that may limit what primates are capable of- the ten million dollar question of nature vs. nurture (Mr. Chomksy, thoughts?).


Animals in Captivity

I used to really love the zoo, because cute animals make me feel all mushy inside. Now, as I get older and learn more, I'm not sold on the idea of keeping wild animals in captivity.

But Christine, you have a dog.

There's a difference between domestic animals (dogs, cats, hamsters, goldfish, etc...) and wild animals (monkeys, tigers, lions, giraffes, etc...). Where exac
tly would I introduce my golden retriever into the wild at? Nebraska? Zimbabwe?

Anyway, in the book both animals living in captivity and using them for science (invasive and noninvasive) are questioned- Bruno the monkey naturally disagrees with both.

Verdict: Capturing animals from the wild for zoos or circuses is unacceptable- yanking an animal out of their natural habitat so that little Johnny can see a tiger while eating cotton candy behind the safety of plexiglass is not okay. Experimenting on animals in such a way that they are going to physically or emotionally damaged is not right either, nor is taking them out o
f the wild to do so. This is tough for me, as I know it is extremely hard to research new drug therapies for dangerous diseases like cancer and AIDS without using animals. Humans or animals? Humans or animals? At the end of the day companies need to spend the extra time, go through the proper IRB and FDA channels, and do human trials.

Wildlife reserves are something different. Personally, I'm a little more flexible here as long as the animals there are treated well, have plenty of room, and have been removed from their homes because they lived in
dangerous environments.


Shock and Awe Tactics

This novel is pretty graphic at times, as far as sexuality, anatomy, and violence. We'll just leave it at that.

Verdict: I'm okay with shock and awe in literature when it is done for a purpose, and I'd say Hale felt that is what he did. I don't believe he was trying to disgust his readers necessarily, or be too over the top, although I can see how more squeamish people would feel this way. There are some novels, like some of Chuck Palahniuk's recent books, that are vulgar just to be vulgar. Now that's just cheap way out.

Alrighty, so a little animal sex, evolution, animal rights, and vulgarity to start my Saturday. Weekend's off to a good start, I'd say.
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