Nonfiction Nagging- It's Okay to Be Slow

This is going to be quick- I have to get up at 4:30 am to catch a flight to Chicago, and plus, it's a really short book. And it's about running, which most of you don't give a rat's ass about.

The main message you should get from The Accidental Athlete by John "The Penguin" Bingham is that anyone can be an athlete; the term "athlete" comes from your own perception and efforts. Walk, run, cycle, swim, lift, jump rope, pole dance, skateboard, roller blade, play tennis, whatever! Just move your ass while doing something you actually enjoy.

Speaking of prying the butt cheeks off the couch, I think the most inspiring thing is that he started running marathons in his forties, after being over-weight, inactive, and a smoker for many years. Age, size, and history is not an excuse, people.

And that's it.

Three Truths and Lie

Have you ever played the game "Three Truths and a Lie?" It's an icebreaker that we did at one of the schools I student taught at, which seems like a million years ago. For example, say mine were:

1. I've gone whitewater rafting on the Colorado River.
2. I once ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's in one sitting.
3. I worried so much I was tested for an ulcer in kindergarten.
4. I flipped off coworker on accident for running a stop sign.

So, which is the lie?

My recent Amazon order feels like this game. Here's what I ordered:

1. Voice Lessons by Nancy Dean
2. 5 Steps to a 5 by Barbara Murphy and Estelle Rankin
3. They Say I Say by Gerald Graff and Kathy Birkenstein
4. Composition No 1 by Marc Saporta

One of those is definitely not a work book, which is all I'm supposed to be buying. They all sound like work books, though. So which is the "lie?"

If you read my blog regularly you'd know that Composition No 1 is; it's the "book in a box" that I got carried away with a few weeks ago. The first is about diction, voice and grammar, the second test prep, and then the third teaching writing. Yeah, you know you're jealous. The fourth book also seems like a bit of a lie because while my excitement is definitely at high levels for it right now, I know it won't be read for approximately twenty-seven months.

Oh, and the lie? Number 1... for now! What are your three truths and a lie? Entertain me... I need it today!

Everybody's Doin' It

It seems like every six months to a year a book becomes the "Hot New Thing." These books generally make the book club circuit and are quasi-literary, as they don't focus on shopping, dating, or makeovers. They're often made into movies and sometimes touted by various celebrities. Some, I'm sure are decent, while others not so much.

I guess I 'm just not cool like that. Or I refuse to read things just because "everyone else is." I am fully aware that this may mean I'm missing out on a great read, as some of you claim I am with The Help (jury's still out).

Here are a few that I've missed the boat on:

Life of Pi by Yann Martel (maybe)

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (doubtful- a little over the Indian genre right now **A reader pointed out that it's not India, it's Afghanastan, which I had totally forgotten; still, hasn't quite captured my interest, but who knows)

Gregory Maguire's books (hell to the no- I tried to read Confessions of An Ugly Stepsister when I was in high school and was so bored by the first thirty pages it became one of the few books I've ever quit)

The Help by Kathryn Stockett (maybe)

The Shack by William P. Young (hell to the no)

Bossypants by Tina Fey (maybe- but damn that cover)

The Hunger Games Series by Suzette Collins (utterly undecided)

Jodi Piccoult books (no more; I've read two and I'm sick of the over-production)

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot (eventually)

Twilight by Stephanie Myers (hell to mother effing no)

The Alchemist by Paolo Coehlo (doubtful- just not interested)

Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay (doubtful- just doesn't interest me)

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (doubtful- maybe when I'm have a midlife crisis)

The Girl Who Played With Fire and the Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson (yes, but mostly because I bought the set on a book binge)

I did jump on the bandwagon for a few, but was never overwhelmed (The Time Traveler's Wife and Water for Elephants, to name two). They weren't bad, but never seemed to match the hype. Curiosity does get the best of me, but I refuse to read a book just because everyone else is. And there's that other problem of already owning almost fifty books that are technically ahead in the line; I'm not timely enough to be cool.

The Story of Cordelia and Chomsky

I've been a little MIA lately from the blogworld due to a few issues that make up the shit-storm that is my life. I think Hurricane Life-Hates-Christine has been downgraded to a slight rain shower for the time being, knock on wood, so I here I am. Ta. Da.

During this time of semi-self-induced stress I've had three things that have brought me the most comfort- the novel I'm reading (almost done with The Indian Killer and it's pretty dang good), and our two dogs, Cordie and Chomsky. Since this blog is a constant tribute towards books, I thought I'd give my pups some credit and explain the literary connections their names hold.



Cordelia (Cordie)

Cordie is technically my husband's dog, but since I pay for half of her food and take care of her quite often I think I can claim some rights (you know, in case we ever have a custody issue). She's six and half, quirky, anxious, and extremely needy. And I love her to death. Oh, and she lets me dress her up however I want, which is pretty damn fun.

Scott, of course named her, since he bought her (our rule). Officially, her name is based on some Buffy the Vampire Slayer character, since that's his favorite show (personally, I think he just thought Charisma Carpenter was hot and wanted to pay tribute, but whatever). I like to think of it as a slight nod to Shakespeare too, since Cordelia was the female lead in King Lear. I don't love Shakespeare, as we all know, but I think I'd prefer that that Cordelia be my dog's namesake rather than that stupid vampire (actually, I don't even know if she is a vampire, maybe a vampire fighter-?).



Chomsky Mumford Darwin (Chomsky)

Chomsky is my dog- all 60 lbs of him (and he's only 6 months old). He's a Chocolate Lab and is straight-up crazy. In all fairness, he has calmed down some, knows basic commands, and is pretty sweet, even when he tears up toilet paper. And, thanks to my husband, he can now hug on command. It's adorable. My small-Grinchy heart melts when he puts his ginormous paws on my shoulders and tries to lick my face.

Yeah, so anyway, moving on. His last name is actually my last name, but for the sake of privacy I've left that out. Darwin comes from Charles Darwin, the great naturalist who wrote On the Origins of Species and brought natural selection into light. Mumford is from the band Mumford and Sons, which I do like, but like the name more. It's just fun to say- Mummmmmmford. And then Chomsky, after linguist Noam Chomsky. I've always been really interested in Chomsky's work, studying him for various classes. I think some of his theories may be flawed, but I think he's fascinating. But I also really like Gnomes, and I saw somewhere a pun on Gnome Chomsky, and it became a huge joke that whenever I got my own dog his name would be Chomsky. The rest is history.

So, there you have it. I can't even have dogs without some sort of literary tie-in. Just wait until you hear what I want to name my kids...

Books on Your Back- Open Wide

A healthy diet includes the appropriate servings of: dairy, grains, fruits/vegetables, proteins, fats and BOOKS.

Another awesome t-shirt from Threadless, on sale for $10 measly dollars. I may have to put my whole "I don't wear yellow" issue on hold for this one.