Isn't It Ironic- Literary Blog Hop

So often surveys and questionnaires float around in the blog world, and I generally refuse to do them because they don't jive with the content of Bookishly Boisterous. Finally, The Blue Bookcase has changed that with their Literary Blog Hop. I'm new to their blog and this whole concept, but I have a feeling I may possibly be jumping on the bandwagon.

This week's question: What is one of your favorite literary devices? Why do you like it? Provide a definition with an awesome example.

I feel like I'm back in high school, or, for that matter, my own classroom.

One of my favorite literary devices is irony, because it amuses me to no end how misunderstood it is. Please, someone, tell Alanis that "Mr. Play-it-Safe who is afraid to fly" ending up as shark bait is not ironic. It's just shitty luck and a bad coincidence. Oh, and the "no cigarette sign on your smoking break?" Yeah, that just sucks. Stop smoking or memorize your company's designated smoking areas, dumbass.

I appreciate the technique for what it is, as well. Irony when used correctly can make texts wittier, deeper, and can assist an author in the development of a character. For example, in the novel To Kill a Mockingbird, most people believe poor Boo Radley is crazy and a danger to the town, but in the end he actually saves the kids from being hurt by Bob Ewell (he in fact does commit a murder in the process, but it is done in the spirit of protection, and the official statement is that Bob "fell on a knife.") Another example if from Fahrenheit 451- the "firemen" actually start fires, rather than putting them out.

There are actually three types of irony: situational, dramatic, and verbal (there are a few other subgroups that do pop up occasionally). I'd discuss each one, but that may be overkill. If you are curious, lets be friends (if we're not already). We can meet, eat cupcakes, and talk about irony.

I'm also a sucker for a Bildungsroman, as I've mentioned countless times before. Some places list it as a device, while others consider it a genre, so I'll save the ramblings on one of my favorite literary topics for another day. Basically, these are coming-of-age stories and track the struggles one faces during the maturation process (physically, emotionally, and morally). Some modern examples are Never Let Me Go, The Solitude of Prime Numbers, The Catcher in the Rye, Prep, and Fatelessness. I could go on, and on.

So, they're you go. I've taken yet another step to proving what a nerd I truly am. And remember, if you see Alanis talk to her about irony. Please.

This is Why I'm Not a Writer

One day I would like to publish a novel. Then I would like to take a sabbatical from my job and go on a fun, exciting, international book tour, while wearing pretty dresses from Anthropologie and demanding that my assistant (a hilarious gay man who doubles as my personal shopper) make reservations for me at all the best restaurants.

Stop laughing. It's very realistic. Extremely.

Well, it would be realistic if I'd actually write a novel, or, at least maybe put some of those word thingies down on paper (or screen).

Today I decided that I'd spend an hour doing exactly that and here's what happened:

Minutes 0-2: Should I write or type? Write or type? Write ideas, type later. Okay.

Minutes 2-5: I'm kind of thirsty. I need some Diet Coke. And some Triscuits. I really love Triscuits now that they have these new cheese ones. The original ones are so boring.

Minutes 5-10: The dogs really need to go outside. And I should probably grab the mail.

Minutes 10-15: Once upon a time...

Minutes 15-25: Oooooh, the new Crate and Barrel catalog is here. We're going to need a lot of furniture whenever we buy a house... God that entertainment center on page 14 is perfect. Sticky note to show husband. Ugh. Why is it in so many pieces? Can't they just tell me the price for the whole thing? Oh, and I like that blender on page 36. I miss my blender, but it totally wasn't my fault I dropped it on my foot and it broke. If we had bigger cabinets things would fit better. Maybe I should check Zillow...

Minutes 25-30: Okay, I need to get back on task. Okay. Writing. Brainstorming about characters. Why are there flowers in the margin? Where did those come from? This reminds me of high school.

Minutes 30-35: Hey, speaking of high school, what the hell is going on with our reunion? Must check Facebook page. What the hell? People still want to bring their kids? No one is willing to plan it? Forget it, I'm going to go on vacation over Christmas anyway.

Minutes 35-45: Hello, Travelocity. Where should we go for Christmas this year? It's really too bad Ireland and Scotland aren't on the other side of the equator. A tropical cruise? Seattle or Vancouver?

Minutes 45-48: Characters, right. Okay. I think the main character should look like Rachel McAdams. Or maybe that girl from Zombieland and Easy A, but with the brownish-red hair, not the horrible blond she has now. Why does it matter what she looks like? Jesus, focus, Christine, focus.

Minutes 48-52: I really need to update my Netflix queue. What's the name of that one movie? With that guy from that show? Crap. It has that girl in it...

Minutes 52-57: I wonder what the character should be named. I really don't like writing the initials MC (main character) for her, because that reminds of Mariah Carey, and I hate that bitch.

Minutes 57-59: I need to pee. Damn Diet Coke.

Minutes 59-60: Crap, time's up. Shit. I was really enjoying this and now it's time to stop and do laundry. Okay, tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll totally do this again.

Geez, how do Mary Higgins Clark and Nicholas Sparks do it? Oh wait, they write crap.

[source- Asher Sarlin]

Books on Your Back- Books > TV

Today's Books on Your Back is in honor of the fact that my husband and I officially don't have satellite anymore. It's liberating, it's cheaper, and it's a fabulous way to stick it to AT&T (my blood pressure is rising just thinking about them). Visit No Star Clothing to buy your own (small print says "Turn off your television").

I'm not a big TV watcher anyway, and now the only time my brain will be rotting will be while running at the gym. I'm sure the two balance each other out.

Oh, and does MTV exist still? I remember watching TRL starring the ever-popular Carson. For those of you are under the age of 20, MTV used to play actual music videos. In retrospect, I think they're lame, but if you're going to name your network "Music Television" you might want to play some music occasionally. Just a friendly hint.

No TV = more time to read. Am I right or am I right?

Anticipation

Oh, The Millions, are you trying to force me to buy another bookshelf? Today they posted a guide to upcoming released for the next half of the year and I couldn't believe how many fantastic authors are coming out with new books in the next few months. Some that made it on to my wish list (and my attempt at a brief synopsis):

1. Stone Arabia by Dana Spiotta: Sibling and artist issues

2. The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta: Borderline sci-fi; love, loss, etc... (you may know him for Election, The Abstinence Teacher or Little Children)

3. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach: College baseball as a backdrop for maturing

4. There But For The by Ali Smith: Man locks self in bathroom and communicates with notes under door

5. I Married You For Happiness by Lily Tuck: Wife sits on husband's deathbed and recount their relationship

6. Luminous Airplanes by Paul LaFarge: Man returns to grandfather's remote, foreign hometown when he dies (here's the issue- this physical text is linked to an online component; part of me is opposed since it is a little too eReader for me, but part of me is proud of LaFarge for combining the two mediums in a sort of compromise. We'll see).

7. IQ84 by Haruki Murakami: Finally this book is released in the US- so much secrecy attached, I'm very curious! About a PE teacher, a writer, and a religious cult.

8. The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides: I'll be honest: the man could write about dog crap and I'd read it, after The Virgin Suicides and, even better, Middlesex.

9. Zone One by Colson Whitehead: I'm becoming a sucker for post-pandemic stories. While I wasn't a huge fan of Whitehead's last book, I do appreciate his talent and will give this one a try.

10. The Cat's Table by Micahel Ondaatje: Childhood and a voyage; Ondaatje is a talented writer, so content isn't all that important to me,

11. The Angel Esmeralda: 9 Stories by Don DeLillo: Effing Don. One of my summer goals it to finally finish the monstrous Underworld. I love his writing and hope that short stories might me a great way to experience his talent.

12. The Third Reich by Roberto Bolano: I haven't read any Bolano (my husband has and approves), but have really meant to. Seems like (finally) a quality mystery, and it's released on my birthday, so it must be awesome.

Unfortunately, Marisha Pessl's sophomore novel has been pushed back from the fall to the spring- this could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Expectations are high and I'm praying she's not a one hit wonder.

It's only twelve books. Only a third of a shelf. No more than $175. No biggie.

God Bless the Fireworks. And Books.

Apparently there's a holiday today. I think it's National Sit Outside In the Heat Barbequing While Dressed Like a Flag Day, or something along those lines. Fine, fine, fine. It's the Fourth of July. God Bless America.

I just heard the Pledge of Allegiance set to music while in the grocery store. Words can not describe how bad it was.

I really don't understand why every activity associated with this holiday occurs outside- it's July, people! One of the hottest, if not the hottest, month of the year. I am baffled. Fireworks also confuse me. Let's spend money to buy things that are lit on fire and disappear within seconds? Really? I know most cities do shows now, but the cash has to come from somewhere. But, then again, this is America, land of money-wasters and pyromaniacs. Maybe I'm just bitter because our annual 4th of July tradition has been to do jack shit, but I'm leaning towards no. I just don't think sitting outside in the sweltering heat is fun, no matter how many margaritas I've consumed or how awesome so-and-so's homemade BBQ sauce is.

If I could control the weather I may be more likely to lather on some SPF, eat some corn on the cob and muster up an "oooo" or "ahhhh" at the fireworks (just please don't ask me to wear red, white and blue). This, of course, makes me think of a book. Like that? It takes skill to find a book to back up the bitching.

In Going to See the Elephant, by Rodes Fishburne, this notion of controlling the weather is actually a possibility. The novel is set in San Francisco and is about a young man trying to make it in the newspaper industry. The novel is well-written, is humorous, and has many great characters, including the inventor Milo Magnet who firmly believer he possesses enough genius to direct the clouds and their precipitation. And he actually experiences some success- and some failure. As a first-time novelist, Fishburne does a fantastic job, although there were many readers and critics who didn't really get what he was trying to do. If you're willing to appreciate the whimsy and imagination of the novel, give it a try (it's a very quick read). I read this in 2008 when it came out and am hoping he's coming out with something again soon.

So, Milo, if you're reading this, next year I'd like to trade in the 95 degree temperatures for something in the comfortable 70-75 range, please. Maybe then you could also throw in some rain, eliminate the droughts and allow those "Star Spangled Banner" singing, beer drinking, meat grilling patriots of the world to light firecrackers on their driveways. I mean, sheesh, we're America. We let the weather dictate where we burn shit up? I don't think anyone checked what the forecast was in Afghanistan. I mean- okay, I'll stop. S

I hope everyone is having a blast, whether you're smart and sitting in the AC or showing your love for the country sweating in a lawn chair. And no, I'm not a US of A hater; I appreciate my life in our country, I just don't like holidays where gifts aren't involved.