Writing: Finding Inspiration and Motivation

I declared in January that 2017 was going to be it- this was the year I'd finally  write a novel. So, I thought about it for a few weeks. And then February came. Nothing. Then March came and I read This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett, a collection of essays she has written about her life, many of which relate to her writing career. I absolutely inhaled this book and started planning a trip to Nashville to visit her bookstore and added all of her books that I didn't already own to my shopping cart on Amazon (sorry, Ann, I know you hate big-box sellers). This book made me feel like I could be a writer, at least at some point, and to some degree. Maybe not a greatly successful one, but one that could eventually get a book out of her. 

I saw Patchett read a few years ago and my initial first impression wasn't completely positive. She's matter-of-fact and honest; she doesn't sugar coat things and she obviously possesses unwavering strength that she doesn't hide. All in all, I thought she was a bit abrasive. But at she continued to talk those initial criticisms became positives and she grew on me. Going into this collection, I knew that there would be the same voice in her essays, and I was right. But she is much more articulate through writing (something I can relate to), and much more likable. She shares her stories about the struggles she went through writing her first book, and it made me feel that despite my busy schedule and mountains of obligations I could somehow do it, like her. She wanted it and made it happen.

One thing I greatly admire about Patchett is that her writing is accessible but complex. She isn't concerned with over-the-top figurative language, humor, or complicated narrative structures. Instead her writing is like how she speaks- it's honest, flowing, and smart. Even in essays, which I sometimes struggle to keep my interest tied to, she has mastered a format that works for her and her message. They flow and demand the reader pay attention. She is commanding.

After about halfway through this book I stopped and wrote a short story (really, really short...). Like I literally stopped reading, got out my computer, and just wrote for a half an hour. And what I didn't even realize at the time is that what I was writing would fit perfectly into a project that I started maybe four or five years ago, which I had abandoned not due to disinterest or dislike, but simply because of all of the other things that demanded my attention in life. The process was motivating and made me hopeful.

So, I don't really know if 2017 will be the year I get serious about writing. I hope it is, but I have to be realistic. Between work, being a mom, taking care of the house and sleep my week days are pretty much spoken for. Weekends are hard too. Summer is coming, though, and I am cautiously optimistic that I can get some serious writing in then. But, time gets away from us, even when it seems like there is plenty of it. 

Someday, no matter what, it will happen. Even if I am seventy and my grandchildren make fun of me for it. 

A Secret Resolution

I guess it's not really a secret is you write it for all to read on the internet, right? Technicalities aside, this resolution isn't necessarily one that I'm posting on social media or talking to my mom/husband/colleagues/friends about, mostly because it's a pretty massive undertaking that I decided in the parking lot, alone, of Target this morning, trying to chug the rest of my Starbucks so it would't get cold as I shopped. I got a size bigger than normal and added an extra shot (I had a lot to do today, okay?), so maybe this is purely the caffeine talking. 

I'm going to write a novel in 2017. 

It might be total shit, but this is the year. I am thirty-three years old and this has been something that I've wanted to do since I was like seven. So, for twenty-six years I have wanted to write an actual novel and it's never happened. Sure, I've started many, but none have been finished. I don't like the feeling that I'm one of those people that are all talk, so this is the year. The doing, rather than the talking and hoping and assuming and procrastinating, will happen. 

January will be spent mentally accepting this fact, as well as figuring out what idea I will develop, since I have a few that I've been thinking about over the years. February through October will be spent writing. Let's say this book is going to be 65,000 words (so very, very, very ballpark); that's 7,222 words per month, or 236ish words per day. I write blog posts and emails longer than that. November will be spent being smug and happy that I am finished. December I will edit, and then I can work on becoming a published, incredibly wealthy, author in 2018 (that's what happens when you write your first book, right?). 

In terms of accountability I'm not sure what I'm thinking quite yet. Monthly check-ins here? Weekly word count totals that are set as reminders on my phone calendar to nag me? Bribery? I have been using the same Fossil work bag since I started teaching eleven years ago... 

236 words a day for nine months. Some days more, some days less. At this very moment I feel like this is incredibly doable, despite lamenting approximately 482 times a day both verbally and mentally about how I don't have enough time as is. But how awesome would it be to end 2017 know that I finally did it?  

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

[mom, what is happening?!?!?!]

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1. Dear God, I feel like I have been to hell and back. I'll spare everyone the details (and whining), but I had the worst stomach virus of my life over the weekend- I was just able to go back to work today. I lost seven pounds over the course of about thirty hours, let's just say, and eventually we all came down with it. An only semi-sick toddler when both parents are down for the count is HARD. But we are all basically alive now, although I'm still trying to get the guts to have a cup of coffee. I'm so very tired and need it, but am also so scared. 

2. Speaking of coffee, I finally did break and get a Keurig and it has made me so happy. We are best friends.

3. And because I was sick I was disqualified from the writing contest I had been taking part in, which is a bummer. I had planned on writing Saturday night or Sunday morning, since the deadline was that evening, but that certainly did not happen. I placed 10 of 32 in the first round in my group, with some really great feedback from the judges that I completely agreed with. I had written that short story in about an hour before it was due, so I had high hopes for actually putting in effort during the second round and scoring even higher. THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW.

4. It rained the other day. Here. In Southern California, during the drought, in September. I'd like to think it's foreshadowing a wet winter, but I'm more realistic than that. It was still nice, though.

5. Last Wednesday I went to the podiatrist to have my deformed toe looked at yet again and he said that he could fix it with surgery, no problem ("it's no big deal, we'll open you up here, put in a little screw here..."). But then he stopped himself and said we had one more hail-mary kind of option- a gel lined sleeve to straighten it out. He sent me home with a few with strict instructions to run and walk on concrete. I did both. My toe hurt very much still. I was sad, I as upset, I was disappointed. But then, the next day, I had a stroke of genius (for once). I also put a sleeve on the toe next to it and BOOM. It worked. I've run a few times with both on and picked up more of the expensive little guys today.

6. I then promptly signed up for the We Run this City 5k at UCLA in November, which is a charity competition where runners sign up to run for either UCLA or USC as part of rivalry week (go Bruins!). I did this a few years ago with my sister and it was a lot of fun. Hopefully my brother remembers to sign up so I have some company.

7. Kristen Bell's Emmy dress was so beautiful. I didn't watch the Emmy's and didn't really even look at the winners, but I follow her on Instagram and she posted a funny story about taping up her nipples to her shoulders so I had to investigate what was worth that sort of torture. The verdict? For that dress? You tape anything wherever they tell you to.

[source]

8. Do you follow Joy the Baker on Instagram? If you don't you should, mostly for her stories. She's been in London and I just love the stuff she posts. She so quirky and cute. 

9. On the way to work there's this little girl and her brother who walk to the elementary school who I see ever day. She's maybe in third grade and I notice that she's been reading as she's walking- it's something I would have done (and yes, a tad dangerous, too). Our district is in a low socioeconomic area, so people love to act like our kids don't want to learn or that they're not passionate readers. This little girl is just the exact opposite and I love her. 

10. I am so excited about Public School's collaboration with Fitbit. I didn't fall in love with Tory Burch's line, but this one is lookin' good. 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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Preface: I have been a horrible blogger lately and have been considering pulling the plug... Last night it appeared that I was locked out of Blogger for FOREVER but then my husband helped me get back in and I decided that it was a sign I'd stick around for awhile longer. I had some time today to put together a calendar of post topics, so we're back in action.

1. I've figured out they key to make mornings tolerable: coffee x 2, a good outfit, and a bowl of sugary cereal (Golden Grahams right now). Every time I go grocery shopping I consider getting something healthy, but then I say, "Christine, if consuming 15 grams of sugar in the morning from a box with a cartoon character on the front is going to make you happy,  then you do it. Mornings are hard. The choice is easy." And then I buy whatever I want and I accept the fact that I will never be an egg-white omelet with whole grain toast kind of girl. 

2. I have four ideas for novels right now. I have negative four hours to work on them. It's frustrating and sad, but the challenge is compelling and motivating, at least sometimes when I don't feel like my eyelids weigh eighteen pounds... each.  

3. Last weekend my brother and his girlfriend came over to BBQ and I made three new recipes- Cilantro and Lime Marinated Chicken Kebabs, Grilled Foil Pack Cheesy Fries, and Unbelievable Peanut Butter Pie. All successes to be made again!

4. Sometimes I take a deep breath and I get this overwhelming feeling that it has been weeks, if not months, since my last one. It's the most wonderful and horrible feeling all at once. 

5. I made this for a friend last week and was pretty pleased with how it turned out:

6. I received my first subscription box of cookies from The Cravory last week and there were some plusses and minuses. First of all, their presentation was total crap- could they not have sprung for a cute box or at least some sort of envelope? Instead they were all in separately packed plastic and in a box with some haphazard paper confetti. Three of the six flavors were excellent, one was okay, one was on the lower end of mediocre, and one I haven't tried, since I really don't know if I can accept candied meat in my cookies. I'll do it again for a few months and see if I want to continue. 

7.  I just bought this shirt five seconds ago:

[source]

8. Today my husband had a procedure and needed a driver, so I took the day off and Sawyer went to daycare. I thought I'd end up with some free time and get some things done, but no. The damn place ran over two hours past the scheduled appointment. Punctuality is sort of a requirement for all things in my life, so this was certainly not pleasing. But, I kept my cool, escaped for a delicious acai bowl once they called him back, and then made some snotty Instagram Stories about the situation. What any normal human being would do, I think.

9. Last Saturday I took Sawyer to Pretend City (a really cool children's museum in Orange County) and as we were leaving he starts singing the Batman theme song, which is what he does instead of say "Batman." I sort of ignored it, since he does it pretty much every time he sees someone in Batman apparel, thinks about Batman, etc... But he kept doing it, so I turned around, and THERE WAS BATMAN. Holy celebrity sight for a two-year-old! He said "hi" several times and then when Batman said it back he sort of got a little clingy and shy. It was the cutest. 

10. Tomorrow is September! So many good things are happening this month. 

What Did I Do? A Writing Challenge.

Last night as I was doing my usual "dick around on my phone for fifteen minutes while in bed but not asleep" routine (that I need to stop), an ad for something called the "Flash Fiction Challenge" popped up. Since I was obviously in the mood to waste time and not sleep, I clicked on the link. Basically, for a fee, you are entered in this contest that requires you to write 1,000 word stories over the course of a few days that are then judged and awarded points (everyone is on a team of fifteen people). Before the round starts, you are given three words: a genre, a location, and an object, which then must be involved in the story. You submit what you have written, are given your points and actual feedback, and after the first two rounds if you score enough points you get to move on. 

Why this is bad:

- The first round is this weekend and I'm fairly busy

- I have a feeling paying for this sort of stuff is stupid, but I have never even looked at a writing competition before, so I have no clue

- I am incredibly rusty; the most writing I do right now is for social media posts and this blog

- 1,000 words is... nothing. I tend to lean on the wordy side, so trimming the fat will be hard (but probably good) 

Why this is good: 

- It will force me to write at least two short stories over the next few months, which I could maybe turn into something else at some point

- It will be interesting to get feedback on my writing, which is something I haven't really experienced in a long time

- I have done these sorts of creative writing assignments with my students and they are actually a lot of fun

- While it may have been a rookie mistake to pay, this will actually motivate me to follow through (it's how I've forced myself to run so much over the years)

Wish me luck! 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. Kare Goucher, the runner, continues to break my heart. That woman is a beast and trains so very hard, but it seems like every time she feels ready she misses her goal by seconds. She ran the Olympic Trials for the marathon in Los Angeles last weekend and missed qualifying by so little! And she cried, which made me sad for her. 

2. While on the topic of running, while I've decisively sidelined half marathon plans indefinitely (I was considering doing the Disney in September before Surf City), I think I'm going to really focus on improving my 5k of 10k times (so 3.1 or 6.2 miles). I think my feet can handle that and the training is much  more doable with my life. It'll also allow me to do more cross training, which I'm excited about. I got on the bike yesterday and have been doing more yoga, so I'm pleased with that. 

3. This is my new favorite shirt:

4. I read Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian last weekend and really enjoyed it. I don't read YA, but I am an Alexie fan, so I gave it a try. More than anything, it made me want to read more of his adult fiction.

[Alexie]

5. I'm also reading The Scarlet Letter for my senior IB class and I'm liking it way more than I ever have before (I think this is the fourth time I've read it?). The language is still very tedious, though, and it's really heard to read when I can't completely focus. We will be comparing it to Kate Chopin's The Awakening, which should be interesting (well, for me, anyway). I wish there was a prequel, though. What the heck went down between Hester and Dimmesdale? They were praying together one day and BAM! crazy baby Pearl was made? 

6. I also just started Notorious RBG, since it seemed like the timely thing to do.

7. Four years ago I jumped out of a plane. How stupid. 

8. I've been thinking about looking into taking some sort of creative writing or literature class through the UCLA Extension program, just for fun. Mostly because I'm always like, "hey, I'm so bored, I need more things to do and items to put on my to-do list."

9. My child's new love is to sit in cardboard boxes and color in them. This keeps him busy for chunks of like twenty-five minutes, which is impressive in toddler time. I'm going to have to keep ordering things online to make sure he has the necessary supplies.

10. Holy shit, this churro cake.

About NaNoWriMo...

A few years ago I successfully completed NaNoWriMo (they host a writing project every November that challenges people to write a short novel- 40,000 words). A colleague did it as well and we had fun comparing our total and motivating each other. I felt creative, inspired, and it made me cling to some hope that maybe someday I could become a world-famous novelist whose wardrobe consisted purely of Anthro dresses and was contractually obligated to tour awesome cities for readings. So fun. So unrealistic.

Here's the thing- the process was great, but the product, not so much. I didn't pursue finishing it (40,000 words is not a novel; it's a novella) and I ended up not really liking where I went with it because I felt so pressured into finishing it.

I'm fairly convinced that I'm not going to do it again this year, but the competitive side of me is trying to take over (so typical). So, in order to sort out my super complicated thoughts on this really critical, life-altering decision (I kid), I made one of my favorite things ever: 

I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I need to figure out some sort of plan to start writing for fun again (other than blogging). It's like everyone's lotto fantasy- you can never win if you don't play. 

Why We Write- A Glowing Review

I'm always looking for inspiration and motivation when it comes to writing, so I decided that I'd finally give this book a read after having it on my shelf for quite awhile. The format is conducive to baby-wrangling; each of the twenty authors are given just a few pages and those are divided into even smaller sections. It's a book packed with a lot of gems in small snippets. Perfect for current my up-and-down lifestyle.

The author editor Meredith Maran coaxed into participating (a portion of the proceeds go to the charity 826 National)  are a fascinating, diverse crew that includes greats like Ann Patchett, Meg Wolitzer, Isabel Allende, Gish Jen, and Michael Lewis. Each talked tried to answer the question, "why do you write" and also gave background story on their writing career, highlighting moments such as when they "made it," rejection, and their process. There were a lot of differences in approaches, paths to success, and outlooks, but the biggest two things they had in common were telling readers to write often and read constantly. 

I tabbed a ton of quotes and ideas to remember, which is unusual for me. I'll spare you a huge list, but here are a few that really stood out:

Isabel Allende advises writers to "be very careful with dialogue" and that "colloquialisms change and become dated" (8).

David Baldacci acknowledges his status as a commercial writer, saying, "People who write literary fiction are more disciplined. They spend years and years and years and years of their lives on one project. They bring to bear everything they have on that one story" (17).

Jennifer Egan speaks about her process, saying that when her writing is going well she "is living in two different dimensions; this life [she's] living now, which [she] enjoy very much, and this completely other world [she's] inhabiting that no one else knows about... it's a double like [she] gets to live without destroying [her] marriage" (28). She also advises people to "read at the level at which you want to write" (35). I love this and think it works for my students, too.

Sara Gruen advises female writers against being labeled a "chick lit" author, cautioning that "if you're a woman and you write novels with female characters, the industry tends to pigeonhole you, and if you're not careful you get slapped with a pink cover no man would be caught reading on the subway" (67).

Rick Moody also tackles genre, saying that "genre is a bookstore problem, not a literary problem. It helps people know what section to browse, but I don't care about that stuff" (151).

Ann Patchett made me smile when describing her lifestyle. She thinks that her readers may be a little surprised to hear that she's a "housewife in Nashville" and "has a dull life" (187). She is a self-proclaimed homebody that is a "dream wife" because she makes a ton of money but still cooks dinner (187).

Jane Smiley recounts a time when she was writing her Pulitzer Prize winner A Thousand Acres and was feeling very tired all the time. She remembered "it turned out the chimney of the furnace was leaking carbon monoxide. When we stopped using the furnace, the novel stopped putting me to sleep. The lesson there is, sometimes it's not as bad as you think" (212).

Definitely a great read for readers and writers. 

On Deck

[source]

Things are a little quiet today. Like literally. I took Sawyer to daycare for a few hours so I could run errands and sit at Starbucks alone for an hour to read. Now, he's exhausted from playing with his buddies and down for the count. I can actually hear birds chirping outside right now. But, things are coming up! Good things! Here's some things I have on deck for the next little while:

Baking and Making

... The Pioneer Woman's Lemon Bars. We have some very ripe lemons barely clinging to their branches in the backyard right now.

... Sally's Peanut Butter M&Ms Truffles. Holy crap.

... a version of this Ranch Cheese Bread. 

Reading

... The New York Times summer fiction edition. I haven't started because I don't want it to be over. 

.... The Harder They Fall by TC Boyle

... The Secret History by Donna Tartt 

Buying

... more Duplos for Sawyer. And me. Mostly me.

... some sort of reclining chair of flotation device for the backyard/pool. I'm too old to lay out on the concrete and read. 

... a few of the prints I posted the other day. 

Reducing

... my time spent on Instagram and Facebook. I'll never cut it out, nor do I want to, but I feel like I simply could go on less and still get the gist. Plus, there's been an epidemic of passive aggressiveness lately that grates on me. 

... my Diet Coke (and diet soda in general) intake. I'll never eliminate it, either, but I'm drinking more water. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm drinking more iced coffee. 

... my household water consumption. Do your part, Californians. 

Posting*

... my take on several restaurant/chef memoirs I've been reading lately. I'm on the last one that I ordered right now and am resisting the urge to pick up more. I do miss fiction, though, since it's been nearly a month since I've picked up a novel.

... some thoughts on navigating the sometimes-complicated world of adult friendship.

... how Marie Kando's book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, rocked my world. Or didn't. 

Going

.... to our local semi-famous day spa, Glen Ivy, next Monday. A massage, time in the sun, maybe an adult beverage? Sign my the heck up! Even better is that it will be with my mom, for her birthday. 

... to visit a friend to hang out with our kiddos in a few days. 

... to meet with our refinancing lady again this upcoming weekend. She projected some major monthly savings if we can get things moving asap, so I'm cautiously optimistic. 

Writing

... letters of recommendation for my students. I have close to sixty to do, so I'm excited to start... so that I can finish!

... more of the project I'm working on. I've resisted planning it out, but I'm at the point where I need some organization, so I will.

... some thank you notes. I have been really good about sending them out to people on Sawyer's behalf, and I owe a person or two cards for his belated birthday gifts. 

Watching

... Newsroom. We just watched the the first episode last night and are hooked.

... TED Talks. They're so short yet I still need to start burning through my playlist.

... The newest seasons of House of Cards and Orange is the New Black. 

Anything coming up in you world?

*maybe

Unlikely Inspiration

I've wanted to write a novel since the fourth grade, or maybe even the third. I'd painstakingly type out the handwritten drafts on our family's computer (very hi-tech at the time), print them out, and illustrate them. I'd coerce my teachers into giving me the "big" sheets of construction paper so I could make covers for books, and I'd proudly offer them to anyone who could read to read. 

Now I pretty much just want a reason to fantasize about going on a book tour wearing the plethora of new Anthropology dresses I could all the sudden bankroll. Because, you know, first-time authors get huge signing bonuses and sent all over the world to read. Ha.

This really isn't the only reason I'd like to write, of course. I enjoy it and have some stories tumbling around my overtired, distracted brain that I'd love to coherently pull out and assemble. It's hard to carve the time out, though, since I feel like if I have anything less than a quiet half hour straight it's not worth it. And when I do have the time, there are a million other things that often take precedence. So despite having this idea that I truly am really excited about, and feel needs to be written while still relevant, I've just been sitting on it. There have been twelve pages written and waiting, open on my laptop for weeks. I'm a neglectful writer, to say the least. 

But today I felt compelled to write, and I was finally able to put my finger on why. Sawyer was down for his morning nap and I was successfully ignoring a kitchen that needed to be cleaned, reading Gabrielle Hamilton's Blood, Bones & Butter. In fact, I've been on a restaurant/chef kick for awhile. I've listened to two of Anthony Bourdain's audiobooks, as well as Molly Wizenberg's Delancey and right now Bill Buford's Heat. Earlier this year I read Sous Chef by Michael Gibney, I just finished Marcus Samuelsson's Yes, Chef, and have two or three other titles sitting on my table. 

The first attraction I have to these books is that I'm fascinated by the restaurant industry and, naively, think that I'd make a good owner, given my penchant for efficiency, task-mastering, budgeting prowess, and ability to manage people (I realistically know that such an endeavor is statistically destined to fail, so I won't be taking a second mortgage out on my house or anything). I also love food and cooking, so that's an obvious appeal to. I was lucky enough in college to work at a place from right before it opened through the first few months of business, so I was able to see the highs and lows that happen when opening a new business. It was awesome (probably because it wasn't my money or reputation on the line). 

But today, while in the middle of Hamilton's book I felt like writing, for once. So I did. I reread the twelve pages I had, did some light editing, and then busted out a few more pages. And I'm ready and eager to return. 

So why, in the middle of reading a book about a woman with a tough life who decides to transform a shit hole into an eatery did I feel inspired? Because she, like most of the other's I've read about, started with nothing and persevered until they got what they wanted. They didn't let naysayers or time constraints or needing to make money deter them. They refused to give up, despite failing countless times. They weren't hellbent on certain timelines and were always willing to grow and learn within their field. They have sharp edges and grit- it's not at all sappy or corny. 

Will I create the equivalent to their famous, successful restaurants? Chances are no. Maybe more like the mom-and-pop deli tucked in a street that hardly anyone walks by. But you never know, and you won't until you get off your ass and at least attempt something. 

Reading Writing Watching Wanting

Reading

I just finished To Rise Again at a Decent Hour by Joshua Ferris. I was disappointed.

I'm trying to put on my big girl panties to review this year's yearbook, but, as always, I get super nervous. This is only made worse by the fact that last year a nearby school district accidentally handed out their book, only to find out that there was a picture with a soccer player who was... hanging out... of his shorts. 

I've been reading The Nowhere Box by Sam Zuppardi to Sawyer lately and I can't wait until he's old enough to give a box and some crayons to. The possibilities are endless.

I also have a stack of timed writes my students wrote on an excerpt from Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye. The ones that I've read so far aren't bad, making me feel that maybe I've done a little good this year. Or maybe it was just easy.

Writing

I wrote a guest post over at We Are Book Punks about coercing kids of all ages to read. Their blog has such a cool design to it- check it out!

I started my next project ("novel" makes me feel presumptuous), the one I wrote about a few weeks ago, complaining about how I had no clue where it was going to go. I finally bit the bullet when I was home with my roseola-rashed out child and busted out five pages. It feels good. The file is entitled "kale" right now. 

I'm also putting together a resource guide for a committee I'm on at school, providing teachers with places to go when they teach Night, Farewell to Manzanar, and The Lord of the Flies. 

Watching

I've started watching more TED Talks lately, since I can always find one at a length I have time for. Plus they make me feel a little more educated. I think after I watch five or so I'll put up a quick post with links.

Don't tell my husband, but while I was working last night I watched/listened to the movie he was watching, Whiplash, and I really liked it. It's about this tyrannical music instructor and his student. I need to play some clips for my students so that they'll be more thankful for my tactics.

Despite my irritation with Lena Dunham's memoir, we're still plugging away at Girls. And I still like it.

We need to also catch up on Jane the Virgin on Hulu. It's such a smart, light-hearted watch.

Wanting

I've had cabin fever lately (probably because Sawyer has been sick with his ears, fever, roseola for over a week), so I want to just go do something fun. Nothing crazy. Bowl? Go to the Huntington Library? See Pitch Perfect 2 in a few weeks? Things are in motion, the planning machine has been put in gear.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I want a set of wool dryer balls and some essential oil to take the place of our dryer sheets. I had no clue they existed until someone posted some of Instagram. They dry things faster and are better for the environment than dryer sheets.

The book Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill has hopped in and out of my cart on Amazon the last few days.  

Some peace and quiet. 

Part of the Process...

[sometimes you have to put on your Batman hat and just accept life]

I hate the word "mantra." It's too Earth Mama or something for me, I guess. That being said, I find myself repeating the phrase "it's part of the process" to myself constantly these days.

Baby teething and waking up every few hours? It's part of the process... of raising the kid I willingly signed up for.

Hand-washing dishes every night, despite the expensive, brand-new dishwasher in the kitchen? It's part of the process... of being fortunate to own a home to buy appliances for. 

Trying to be understanding of changing social dynamics? It's part of the process... of getting older and deciding what, and who, is worth accommodating.

Student plagiarizes on an essay? It's part of the process... of teaching teenagers what's academically acceptable.

Have a (hopefully) great idea for a novel but no time to write? It's part of the process... of having a full life.

Capt'n Crunch Donut Cereal tearing up the mother-effing roof of your mouth? It's part of the process... of being a legit cereal connoisseur.

lnterestingly, this has been partnered with a recent feeling of contentedness that I'm most definitely embracing, since it's probably a fleeting emotion surely catalyzed by the beautiful weather, a perfect sleep/caffeine ratio, and the anticipation of spring break. Nonetheless, I'll take it.

I've been running through life a million miles an hour the last few months, trying to get everything done yesterday. And while I'm not a fan of complaining, my inner monologue has been doing that on repeat (and sometimes the outer one, too). This need to rush and accomplish has pushed me since I was small, which has had it's positive and negatives. But after a stressful month or two, I've realized I need to change my perspective. All this shit? The cleaning, the grading, the house maintenance, the bill paying, the laundry, the paperwork attached to work? It can wait an extra day. Or maybe even two. And despite it being a nuisance, it's part of the big picture. Necessary evils that are part of the process leading up to contentedness, or, dare I say, happiness. Not that I've going to let my house go to crap, the essays remain ungraded, or the utilities shut off. Instead I've both simultaneously embraced the day-to-day rigamarole and learned to manage it a bit better, knowing that everything is a means to an end. So, sometimes I buy frozen, pre-cooked chicken for dinner and once in awhile laundry sits for a day. I laugh at the fact my kid is starting to develop some true food preferences instead of getting frustrated. I suck it up and work out at night instead of sitting on the cozy couch, happy that I have a little window. Where I'm at right now is never going to happen again (just ask the fortune cookie I'm sure that is written on somewhere).

Last March we received an unfortunate blow that wasn't the fault of anyone, but inevitably rocked our world for the "better" part of a year.* When I look back at the last twelve months I've realized that things tend to correct themselves over time, like the stock market. Things were very low for awhile, and now they're pretty high, relatively speaking; a market correction will happen soon and we'll end up somewhere in the middle. My point? We have to keep chugging along, realizing that most things, big and small, are just "part of the process." All of those things that keep you up half the night planning contingency plan upon contingency plan? Chances are a week, a month, a year, or even five years from now there will be a market correction of your own and things will be okay. Maybe the ideal will have changed to accommodate life, but that's okay. 

And please don't worry. The dishwasher is under warranty and I'm switched to Kix this week.

*I know, I know, "vague-blogging." I hate it, but I will say that it was not related to health or in anyway my kid (he's been the best thing ever).

Book Blogging: Relax, It's Just not that Important

Hold on. Just hear me out. Give me a second. I know my target audience is, well, book bloggers, and here I am insulting their craft. Dick move. I know. But just hold on.

[Cue the follower drop off]

Lately there have been some "outings" of plagiarism here in our little community, and while I'll spare you the lecture on how stealing content is a huge sin, the explanation from of at least one of them made me chuckle. She felt too pressured to post. In fact, I hear that resonating on many blogs, that people feel genuinely overwhelmed with ARCs, publishers, book "tours," challenges, memes, guest posts, commenting, and whatever else this hobby entails.

You guys. Did you just read that word? Hobby. For most of us, that's what this is. A rewarding, fun hobby that lets us do something more with our other hobbies, reading and writing. Hobbies are not supposed to stress you out, but instead be something that you can enjoy to escape the things that do cause you anxiety. You know, like work, taking care of families, nurturing relationships, illness, financial woes, or various forms of personal loss. The really, really important stuff. Not that hobbies aren't important, because they are, but, again, they're not supposed to make you feel anything but positive.

Most of our blogs aren't going to pay the bills, and never will. They are an outlet that should fulfill a creative need or perhaps one that craves interactions with like-minded individuals. Our blogs will never cure cancer, bring peace to the Middle East, or solve the poverty crisis.

They do make us happy, though, and happiness is really important to being sane, healthy, and having a balanced life. They make us feel warm and fuzzy, whether we're writing, reading, or commenting on posts. They make us feel validated when we see new followers, complimentary comments, or shout-outs from others. We get on our soapbox when we see people insulting books we love or knocking down our favorite authors (but in a fun way, right?).

I get wanting to do what you do the best you can, since I run that way about 80% of the time. I love that people value their audience, which I see paid-bloggers in other areas totally not do. I even get a little bit of competition.  

So, relax. Calm down. Have a glass of whatever makes you feel better. Read your books. Write when you can. Comment when you have time. Remember: this is supposed to be fun.

Teaching Writing (and to What Extent)

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One of the archived Bookends columns in the New York Times asked whether or not writing can be taught. My short answer: yes. My long answer: not completely. Much of my job revolves around writing, whether it's teaching kids the basics, working with them to take their current skills up a notch, or analyzing the writers of the works we're studying. I'm nowhere near an expert, but every year I get better and add more strategies into the mix. 

Analyzing the Prompt/Assignment
My kids in regular English often made the mistake of glancing over the prompt and then getting started immediately. In order to break this habit we looked at it together, determining if there was ant background information, locating the particular task, and analyzing the verbs. 

Pre-writing
I'm really lenient on what sort of pre-writing my students do, but I do strongly encourage that they take a small chunk of time to do some. My preferred mode is the classic outline, but many kids "these days" don't know how to do that. Instead, they make something called "t-charts," create flowcharts, or just jot down ideas. 

When my students are analyzing passages I advise them to do something called color-blocking, which calls for the reader to find different trends in the text. For each pattern or significant feature the student shades the area of the text a certain color, and then includes that in a key at the bottom of the page. For example, when the writer uses diction related to violence someone might shade it blue, while metaphors pink. It is incredibly useful and I wish I would have been taught to do it as a student (especially with poetry). 

The Thesis 
This is one of the toughest tasks for writers, at all levels. What are you trying to prove? What are your arguing? You must point something out, otherwise the essay is going to be a summary. I tell my students that their theses must be arguable, can't be "listy" ("the author uses symbolism, foreshadowing, and juxtaposition to show differences between the farmers and merchants"), or vague. 

One activity that I have done is a class evaluation of student theses. I have them email me their working thesis the night before and I take several and pop them into a PowerPoint (without names). In small groups they'll evaluate the thesis based on the components we've talked about and will score it. We then regroup as a class and discuss their findings.

Peer-Editing 
Many teachers have mixed feelings on peer-editing, as do I. I think the biggest issue is that many teachers turn the kids loose without a lot of guidance, simply instructing them to trade papers and correct them. But what if a student is a weak writer? Then the other kid isn't going to get a lot of helpful feedback. What if the two partners are friends and plan to screw around the whole time and talk about whatever social drama is currently happening? My solution isn't perfect, but it helps alleviate some of the concerns.

On the days we peer edit students arrive with their rough drafts and appointments clocks, a way we set up partners in my class (when I say "meet with your seven-o-clock appointment" they know who their next partner is; this is from the AVID program). They also receive a worksheet that has a list of editing areas on the side, a column for comments, and then a column for the partner to write their name (the sheet stays with the essay). For example, the first ten minutes will be dedicated to evaluating the thesis and determining if the essay stays true to it. They read each others' papers, write comments and discuss if there is time remaining. Then they'll go to their new "appointment" and evaluate for a new editing area, like organization, sticking to the prompt, evaluating literary devices, etc... (many of the categories match up to the rubric I use to score their essays). This way, their papers are read by several students and they get to move around the room several times.

So Much Writing...
I firmly believe the best way to become a better writing is to write often. Students do short assignments constantly, but they do timed essays in class every other week (they write for a full period). Each novel we read requires one process piece at home, and often a creative writing assignment as well. They keep notebooks where they do quick writes in class and they also do a few explications for each work we are studying. Grading is tough, and I'm not the type of get an essay back in three days, but I feel the practice is the most important thing.

Rewriting
Students are allowed to rewrite timed-writes in class. Sometimes I reread them, sometimes I just check over them to make sure there are changes and give them five or so extra credit points. Kids who take advantage of this are the ones that improve. Simple as that.

Criticizing Curriculum
Our school/district has adopted a curriculum for writing that is incredibly formulaic. It teaches writing like it's an equation and doesn't promote style or voice. It's fine for establishing a foundation in the primary grades, but I've had to undo so many of the things it's taught the students, like excessive transition words, "listy" theses (see above), and strict guidelines for writing five paragraphs. If students went to a university using many of components this program teaches they'd be scored low.

Rubrics and Checklists
When I grade essays my students get two pieces of feedback. The first is a checklist that includes twenty or so common problems that I frequently see. I check off five or so that I want them to work on (anything from "not using textual support" to "grammar problems" or "no thesis"). The check marks are made in one of two columns, indicating the severity of the issue. The second piece of feedback I give is the IB rubric, which critiques them on whether or not they understand the text, if they responded to the prompt/question, the level of literary analysis, their language, and their argument. 

I do not edit essays- in fact, I make very few marks on them. This is for three reasons. The first is that I have over 90 students; if each essay takes me four minutes to read and grade, that's six hours of grading right there. If I were to mark up papers that time would easily double. With the amount of writing I assign this isn't feasible at all. Secondly, I allow students to rewrite their essays, therefore editing their writing would simply be doing their work for them. And lastly, they frequently don't read the comments past the first page. 

The Original Question
Back to that original question about whether or not writing can be taught. The fundamentals? Definitely. But voice and style? That's where it gets trickier. Some components of writing correspond to intellect and creativity. Some people are just natural writers, and some aren't.

I think there is definitely a place for creative writing programs and English departments, of course, as they're places for those with potential and desire to sharpen their skills. I don't think someone without any sort of talent can enter an MFA program and exit an author on their way to winning a Nobel or Pulitzer. 

How did you learn to write? Do you think it can be taught? Did you read this entire post? If so, I'm sorry.

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. We've been on a crazy testing schedule that has led to my first period class being with me for 3.5 hours both yesterday and today. They're a nice group of kids, but by the end of today we were all just over it. How did I ever teach the same group of kids ALL day? Not to mention the fact that they were like eleven-year-olds. 

2. I'm reaching the end of Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout and am really enjoying it. I honestly didn't know it was short stories going into it, not that I mind. I love the way they're all linked- it doesn't really read like short stories at all.

3. As long as there's nothing shady behind the new Harper Lee book, I'm quite excited. In fact, I pre-ordered it yesterday, just in case there's any craziness like the Laura Ingalls Wilder autogiography.

4. Being the planner that I am, I'm starting to think about Sawyer's first birthday in April. People really don't like going to these things, right? Like people that are childless and have a million better things to do than sit around and watch someone's kid smash their face into cake? They could be doing exciting things, like... skydiving while taking shots in like Brazil, right? Most of our friends are either childless or expecting, but then what if we invite the few couples that have babies? Will the non-child friends feel snubbed? So for this reason I think we're sticking to close family.

5. Behind the Music should be on Netflix. Not that I would realistically watch it, since I watch so little, but I'd like the option.

6. Sawyer wants this shirt from Ro Sham Bo Baby:

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7. The roofer saga is over, I think. We had the original contractor who didn't show the first time come out last weekend, finally, and he gave us the best-case and worst-case scenarios. My husband and I assumed worst, which sucked, because it was like $4,000. Not exactly what I want to spend that kind of cash on... Anyway, they came back today (on time!) and it ended up being the best-case scenario, which was quite a bit less expensive. I was nervous because he could have totally screwed us over if he wanted- we were undoubtedly clueless when we met with him over the weekend. Plus, he did an excellent job coordinating the paint-matching on the stucco (so basically he picked a good place)- you can't even tell there was a leak! Now we move on to more fun home matters... like picking out a new dishwasher.

8. My personal writing project has totally come to a standstill the last few months (hence the lack of "Diary of an Unmotivated Writer Posts"). I'm pretty sure I'm half-assing most of the things on my plate right now (because there are just too many), and I don't want to screw it up.

9. We have next week off- I cannot wait. I have a million things, moth fun and practical, planned, of course, but I still can't wait. Yes, we did just have winter break. No, I don't care.

10. I'm considering taking a break from ARCs. It makes me nervous, since I don't accept many, that if I stop I'll never get any offered again, but I just have too many of my own books right now. Plus, the whole obligatory reading thing (says the English teacher).