Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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I must preface this post with the fact that it is baby/pregnancy related. If that's not your thing I totally get it and just want to assure you this will not be the norm. I'm getting it out of my system... for now (the thoughts... not the baby). And thank you for the well wishes on my post the other day- yay for babies!

1. Dear world, stop asking childless people if they plan on having kids. If they never want them they don't want to feel obligated to justify themselves. If it's not the right time they don't want to feel pressured. And if they've been trying for months and months they really don't want the reminder. 

[the most serious someecard I've ever seen]

2. We will definitely find out the gender. And if it's a girl there will be absolutely no princess shirts or hair bows larger than say a silver dollar. I'm sure your daughter looks adorable in her "I'm the Princess" t-shirt with her hair bow the size of her face, but that's not my style. And considering I have limited time in which I get to impose my fashion beliefs on her you can bet your ass I'm going to take advantage (overalls 24/7). If it's a boy he can wear princess shirts and huge bows. Whatever.

[the size of the kid's face; source... sorry]

3. I refuse to make any promises about anything. I mean I'm not going to smoke crack or go skydiving, but that's about it. Visitors the first few days after birth? Don't count on it. Breastfeeding? Who knows! Epidural? We'll see! My point is that I've never done any of this before, so I'm basically taking it one thing at a time.

4. I'm not having a large family baby shower, so I guess that is one promise I'm making. I despise baby showers with every ounce of my being and have worked hard to get out of many- subjecting others to the torture just seems wrong (as does having one solely to get free baby gear). I hate being the center of attention, I hate games ("you know what, let's not even wait 'til I say "baby"- just take my fucking clothespin now"), and I hate being at large social events where I can't drink alcohol. I'm not opposed to a small get together with friends, but that's not even something I have my heart set on. 

5. I'm still so relieved about the timing of this whole thing. I'm due the first week in May, meaning I'll get to teach my students all the way up until their IB and AP tests (I'm actually due on the IB test) and then let them go full-blown senioritis on a sub. If things go okay I'll come back in June for senior check out day and graduation (my students are already asking to see the kid, claiming it's "like a sibling to them," but again, no promises), but other than that I'll get to be home for three months before going back to work at the start of the next school year. 

6. Working at the UCLA Medical Center for four years has completely ruined me in terms of my hospital expectations. My area has shitty, shitty, shitty options- it would almost be better to deliver my baby in an alley behind a Chinese restaurant. And no, I'm no switching to Kaiser- UCLA also taught me HMOs are something I'd like to stay very far away from.

[UCLA is only 65 miles away... source]

7. I'm very excited to take up running again postpartum. I gave it up a year and a half or so ago because I was legitimately burnt out, but then never really picked it back up because we were trying to get pregnant. I turned to yoga and did a lot of hiking/incline walking, and then eventually cycling, but I do miss the idea of training for something. I've already got my eye on a comeback half marathon in the future. 

8. My husband and I have had a few conversations about kids and social media these days- we both find it alarming how prevalent young children are on the internet, but understand that it really is a personal decision. I'd never put my kid's face on public domain, meaning the blog or twitter. I'll also work to cull my Facebook friends list between now and then- if I wouldn't talk to you on the street then you're out. We also plan to talk to family and friends about it as well- I hate it when I see people post pictures of other peoples' kids without permission. Not all parents want their kids plastered on the internet for strangers to see. I know it's harmless, but still. I don't know if your friend from biology class back in high school is now a pedophile. Food for thought.

9. I don't want to hear about your labor experience. Maybe eventually, but not yet. I don't want to hear about how you had an epidural... or that you didn't. How you're lady parts were decimated. That you spent twenty-four hours in labor. I just don't. I'm quite aware that it can suck hardcore and really don't need any reminders.

10. I am not concerned whatsoever with how our dogs will do. I know that is a very valid concern in some houses, but I know Cordie and Chomsky will be just fine. We're working on getting the barking under control, but other than that I don't anticipate any baby-mauling.