Sunday Confessions

[See number 9]

Sometimes I think it would be nice to go to confession- maybe it's the Catholic in me (my Catholicism started and ended with being baptized as an infant, though, so I'm not exactly brunching with the Pope). I guess in my agnostic-mind it seems like such an easy thing to do- you do less-than-desirable things, go to church, confess your sins, do a few Hail Marys or whatever, and then BOOM! you're a good person again. 

So, in honor of this line of thought, I have some things to confess. Obviously this isn't the really bad stuff, since, you know, my students and possibly some family members read this, but nonetheless, here are some minor offenses I'm feeling a little guilty for today:

1. Sometimes I exclude people from my Facebook statuses whose comments I can't deal with, or those that might not get what I'm trying to say. I know it's like so 2012 to give a shit about Facebook, but still. I'm old. 

2. Speaking of old, last night I couldn't help being a tiiiiiiiny bit happy that my husband had passed out while I was in the shower at nine-o-clock. This meant that I could read for a little bit and then haul my geriatric ass up to bed by ten. On a Saturday night. This first week back to work has killed me.

3. Honestly, I've complained more about being tired this week that I have in months. It's surpassed that point where you're just kind of sleepy and want a nap, but instead that kind of tired that settles into your bones and makes you want to DIE.

4. When I checked out at Target today my receipt told my I've nearly saved $200 by using my Red Card this year. After some quick math I realized that it's only August and I've spent just about $4,000 at Target this year alone. Whoa, there, Big Spender. But, in my defense, I buy a lot of our basic food there, plus diapers, clothes for Sawyer, and all of our prescriptions. That means $500 a month, which isn't  quite as nauseating. 

5. Whenever a career-blogger complains about it being Monday, I want to punch them in the face. I know they have meetings and emails to respond to and whatever, but MY GOD most of them are posting at like nine in the morning pictures of their runs, amazing breakfasts, and coffees with little hearts made out of foam. No. You can start complaining when you have to drag your perfect butts (from all the running and Crossfit, duh) our of bed at five, get ready in actual clothes (not Lululemon), and then go to a place that requires coherent interactions with others. Yes, I'm jealous. Obviously. 

6. Sometimes I have a hard time liking other people's kids, especially when they're not acting cute.

7. I'm fantasizing about paying my mom to come down and stay with Sawyer for one night so my husband and I can escape to Vegas. I want to get dressed up and pay a ridiculous amount of money for a meal and then go sleep for ten hours in a hotel room that someone else will clean up. Unfortunately, I won't inflict my child's inconsistent sleeping schedule on anyone else right now (some nights he does a solid ten hours... some nights he's up two or three times).

8. I'm currently bribing myself to work out, since it's hot (it's going to be 106 today) and I'm so tired and whiney. Seriously. For every time I lose a pound, hit 12,000 steps, or do a PiYo workout I make a note so I can justify buying myself something unnecessary later. 

9. I had a gigantic Slurpee yesterday. I could have just poured sugar water into my mouth at home, but still, it was delicious. 

10. Sometimes I wish Sawyer would watch TV for more than five minutes so I could plop in front of [insert name of kid's show that I don't know exists] for thirty minutes in the afternoon so I can just collect myself after work. Ultimately I'm so, so, so, glad he's not into burning off his brain cells, but still. Just thirty minutes a few times a week. 

11. I judge people who support Donald Trump. 

Your turn.