Top Ten Tuesday- All You Need is Love

I think someone should do a mash-up of the Beatles' "All You Need is Love" and Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to do With It?" Just a thought. 

 The Broke and the Bookish are asking us, in honor of this lovely holiday coming up in just a few days, what our top ten romances are. I have to preface this by saying that I am definitely not a love story kind of girl- you will not catch me reading novels with half naked women and Fabio look-a-likes on the cover. But I do think that a romantic angle, when done right, can absolutely add to a book. The titles below aren't necessary typical romances- some end poorly for the characters, but nonetheless, love is a factor.

1. On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan- The novella centers around a virginal couple on their honeymoon, ready to consummate their marriage. What could be more romantic than that, right? How about being in a relationship before Viagra was invented? Jokes aside, it will make you question the role sex plays in a relationship, no doubt.

2. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger- This was one of those books that I didn't quite love (or hate) but read to see what the hype was about. While the book is lacking in some ways, I will give Niffenegger credit for creating a true bond between Clare and Henry.

3. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby- Part of romance is rejection, loss, and heartache, which Rob must relive as he gets in touch with old girlfriends. 

4. Skippy Dies by Paul Murray- I just finished this book this morning, and while I do have some issues with it, the love poor Skippy thinks he feels for Lori seems so real. While it may stem from the fact that he is lonely and lacks control of his life, it is a bright spot while he is alive.

5. Daniel Steel- Brace yourself, here comes a confession: back when I was like fourteen I read a lot of Danielle Steel (thanks, Mom). I can't remember many in particular; I think there was one called Zoya I liked, but, frankly, they all blurred into one because they were formulaic and poorly written. But when I think "romance writer" I think of Danielle.

6. A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood- The haunting loss that follows the death of a partner is the subject of this book after George, a gay Englishman, must cope with the grief he's left with after his partner has died. Beautifully written and incredibly genuine.

7. Beauty and the Beast- Fine, maybe it's technically not a novel, but it is a story, and he gives her a library. That's all that needs to be said.

8. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte- Honesty is the best policy when trying to make a relationship last. But sometimes, you have to take one for the team and stay mum about your crazy-ass wife locked in the attic. 

And a few that people consider romantic but really aren't (sorry):

9. Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare: They were emo before emo was cool and then not cool. Killing yourself because someone you barely know is supposedly dead isn't sweet, it's painfully stupid.

 10. The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins: Katniss is not a great romantic heroine that is forced into an epic love triangle, sorry. She's a teenage girl who likes attention, and the dudes are just hormonal and desperate. The whole bunch are whiny and typical.

Happy Valentines Day everyone! Have a really great time posting pictures of the flowers your significant other gets you on Facebook (as opposed to the passive aggressive comments about him/her as usual) and Instagram!

And if you're really trying to get into the spirit, take a look back at last year's posts- Characters I'd Like to... Fondle. 

By the Book- The Story of the Failed Croissants

I don't want to go all brag-city on you guys, but I can count the things I've screwed up on (in the kitchen, anyway) on one hand, two tops. My mom started us off helping in the kitchen at a super young age and I'm good at following directions (in the kitchen, anyway), so things usually end up okay. Today's little croissant exploration proved to be an exception.

I revisited Thomas Keller's book again, knowing that this recipe was going to be difficult. I ordered the expensive diastatic malt powder online, went to a different grocery store for European block butter, and read the directions a few times just to familiarize myself with the many steps (there are five pages of directions). I was excited and up for the challenge.

The first step was to create something called a poolish- basically you mix together flour, a pinch of yeast, and water, and let it sit for 12-15 hours (so I started it late last night). I knew something was wrong immediately, even though I double and triple checked the directions- what was supposed to have the consistency of pancake batter was more like a dough. I hoped that it would magically fix itself by morning and went back to watching Pulp Fiction, for the first time ever, with my husband.

[Side note: Is it just me, or do the characters in that movie never react with the appropriate amount of urgency? Like when Mia is overdosing and needs a shot of adrenaline? They waste time looking for a medical book and then counting ever-so-slowly to 3? Just do it! And then when Bruce Willis' character goes back to his apartment for his watch and decided to make a freaking pop tart, despite the fact that there are gangsters looking for him? And then when Samuel L. Jackson has to talk and talk and talk when he's trying to get out of a hold up that he obviously has complete control over? Come on, Tarantino, move it along.]

This morning when I woke up the poolish had obviously went through some sort of fermentation process because I saw some bubbles, but it was still pretty thick. It still had several more hours to go, so again, I hoped for magic while I was off standing in line for 3.5 hours at the Tom's sample sale. When I finally got home there had been no change. I decided to just go for it and see what happened.

[Making the poolish at 11 pm; butter block; dough; fold over #1]

There are a lot of steps in croissant making. You have to combine the ingredients, let the mixer mix it for twenty minutes (my poor Kitchen Aid over-heated), and then go through this lengthy process of folding it around butter, rolling it out, freezing it, rolling it out again, and so on and so forth.

I knew the entire time that it wasn't going to work, but I didn't want to quit. I thought if anything I could at least figure out what the problem was, besides the poolish being wrong, while I worked. Eventually it was time for the oven and while they raised slightly, the butter, which apparently hadn't been correctly incorporated into the dough, melted out all over (I'm still not sure what I did wrong, here, but I know there was an issue with the butter block). The results were hard little lumps that slightly resembled croissants. 

[stiff triangles; why do I see butter?; please don't drip in my oven; hard doughy mounds]

I think in a way these stupid little croissants are a little like my life right now. I know what to do, I follow the directions, but I inadvertently do something slightly wrong along the way to screw up the final product. And instead of stopping and starting over, I just keep plugging away down the wrong path, hoping that things will magically fix themselves. Not that it's the end of the world (in the kitchen or my life)- this isn't the last time I plan on making croissants, and I learned a lot about technique and dough making along the way. I also finally used the convection element of my oven, a fun little button to push. But you can't always make brownies from a mix, boys and girls, just like you can't just coast through life on auto pilot.

Croissants are complicated. Life is complicated. And Thomas Keller is horrible at writing directions for poolish.

The Catcher in the Rye- I Dislike it a Little Less

There's a huge difference between reading a book for fun and teaching it. Using one in your classroom, if done properly, requires rereading the book for a new purpose, lesson planning, lecture writing, activity creating, and test writing. It's a lot of work. But for me, it's a labor of love, even if I think I don't like the book or play. My first year teaching Julius Caesar I dreaded it, not being a huge fan of Shakespeare, but once I put in the work myself I grew to at least appreciate it. And now I can say the same is true for The Catcher in the Rye.

When I first read Catcher in high school I thought Holden was a whiny little bitch. I thought of the book as something that was more accessible to males, first of all. And I was unsympathetic to the fact that he was unable to get over the death of his brother, considering I had turned out just fine after my dad had died just two years before. Holden needed a firm kick in the ass and to realize that just because someone didn't see it his way didn't mean they were a phoney.

Maybe I still think some of these things.

But now, in my infinite wisdom, I know that Holden is this way for a reason. It's a coming of age novel- it's okay that he's depressed, he's supposed to be a little immature, it's fine that he doesn't quite understand how the adult world works. Salinger had a plan- sometimes you have to trust the author. 

My students, for the most part, have seemed to enjoy the novel to some extent, either loving it for what it is, or just because they love to hate Holden. We've had some great class discussions, they had to do a psychological evaluation of him during their "Diagnosing Holden" assignment, and as a class we've analyzed the shit out of the themes, symbols, and motifs. We've talked about depression, sex, and teenage angst. I've worked hard at helping them understand that while they may find parts annoying that it's still possible to appreciate the text for it's literary significance. When we come back from break they'll take a beast of a test and then we'll move on to the next novel, Their Eyes Were Watching God.

And remember, love it or hate it, there's always the The Holden Caulfield Drinking Game, created by yours truly. 

World Rocked

My world has been rocked. Academically, anyway. 

I've lamented my stagnated learning before, but I think I've finally found the answer. Things are about to change. 

Enter coursera.org. Maybe you've heard of it? Before today I had not, but a colleague was talking about some free classes she was taking online. The courses are taught by professors all over the world and are on a variety of topics. Some require (as much as a free class can require something) you buy books and most have video lecture components. They range from a few weeks to closer to a whole semester and don't cap enrollment. The only drawback- they aren't for credit. Personally, I'm maxed out on the pay scale in terms of units towards salary, so I could care less. 

Some of the courses that I'm interested in:

Algebra (University of California, Irvine)- I'm not even kidding. It's been a long time and I'm sure it would all come back really fast, but it would be a great brush up.

Contraception: Choices, Culture, and Consequences (University of California, San Francisco)- In the last year I've decided that as a culture we're really poorly informed about birth control options and they're long-lasting effects. 

Introduction to Finance (University of Michigan)- I need to learn how to get rich so I can retire before forty. 

Nutrition for Health Promotion and Disease Management (University of California, San Francisco)- Once I retire wealthy I need to make sure I'm healthy and can make it another sixty years. 

The Language of Hollywood: Storytelling, Sound, and Color (Wesleyan University)- My husband would be so proud.

Genes and the Human Condition (University of Maryland)- I think it's becoming more and more important that I make an effort to continue my knowledge in the field of biology- you never know what I may be teaching in ten years.

Sports and Society (Duke)- I think seeing the sociological impact sports have had on society would be fascinating.

Exercise Physiology (University of Melbourne)- I've been changing my fitness up this year and would love to see what this means for me on a physiological level. 

Greek and Roman Mythology (University of Pennsylvania)- I need a brush up. 

The Science of Gastronomy (University of Hong Kong)- Science and cooking. 

I'm trying to resist the urge to sign up for a whole bunch right now, since I have so much to do. But some of them are starting soon and I don't want to miss out... I'm excited, guys. 

[Edited to add- I just signed up for the Gastronomy, Intro to Physiology, Exercise Physiology, Nutrition, and Greek Mythology ones. Only three have start dates and they're spread out, and then two haven't been scheduled yet). 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

1. I heard the quote "the key to a happy marriage is to mutually lower your standards" somewhere the yesterday (no, not marriage counseling, haha) and thought it was interesting. It sounds so negative, but I think it's actually pretty true. Obviously you can't lower them drastically, or else you're bound to be miserable, but who really is perfect all the time? The bottom line is that you have to be realistic and give each other a break. No one is going to be what you expect them to be.

Slap that shit on a Valentine's Day Card, Hallmark.

2. So I guess there may possibly be another Bridget Jones book coming out, this one possibly being about her getting knocked up. I enjoyed the original diary, but thought the second, The Edge of Reasoning was a lacking. I'd love for Fielding, the Mother of Chic Lit (back when it wasn't pure shit), to have another success, but I'm not sure if we all want to read about Bridget whining over getting even fatter and having to knock off the booze and cigarettes. 

3. I love it when you can tell someone to "just handle it" and they do. 

4. I've become more and more intrigued by the whole Extend Barre fitness trend. I'm not normally one to fall victim to new crazes (I'm not going anywhere near Cross Fit!), but this one seems like a great combo between the graceful intensity of yoga and the heart-pumping action of cardio. Interestingly, the nearest place to me that has classes is at a Pole Dancing Studio, so after this I might end up taking some stripper classes (probably not... but you never  know).

5. I'm currently reading Skippy Dies, finally. It's really long- over six hundred pages and I feel like I'm crawling through it. I enjoy it, I do, it's just the kind of book that I feel reads best in at least thirty minute chunks, something I seem to be lacking this week. Within the first few pages you learn that Skippy dies during a donut-eating contest (not necessarily the cause, though), which will now and forever be in my mind whenever I eat donuts (so three times a year).

6. I'm pretty psyched about this weekend- a new restaurant with the man I lower my expectations for (don't you worry, it is absolutely mutual), a Tom's warehouse sale with a friend, yoga, and, drum roll please, croissant making. My $10/lb bag of diastatic malt powder finally arrived, so it's on.

7. I won't touch Gregory McGuire's book Wicked with a ten foot pole (I tried to read one of his other ones in college and hated it), but I'm pretty excited to finally get to see the play next month. Yes, I know I'm the last person in America to go...

8. This Monday I will be driving to LA to get to see Al Gore read and speak as a part of his book tour for The Assault on Reason. I saw him a few years ago and he was an excellent speaker and his crowd was pretty lively, so I'm hoping this will also be worth it. I know he's a bit kooky at times, and hope he addresses his recent network sale controversy, but I have a deep appreciation for those that raise awareness about the environment. Plus he hung out with Bill Clinton all the time, so there's that (what, we haven't talked about my love for Bill?).

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9. The other day two books came in the mail, the first one being Why We Write. It's a great collection edited by Meredith Maran featuring chapters from Ann Patchett, Jennifer Egan, Gish Jen, Isabel Allende, and several more. I thought I'd balance things out with my other purchase, How Smart is Your Dog? Basically, it's a series of tests you give your dog to determine his or her intelligence. We'll see who's smarter, Chomsky or Cordie. I'm not even kidding.

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10. I really don't understand the whole mustache thing and why, after over a year, it is still going strong. It's not that I don't like it, I'm actually quite indifferent, I just don't get it. Where did it originate? Why are people still so into it? Please someone cool and hip enlighten me.