An Open Letter to Borders: Please Stop Fueling my Addiction

Dear Borders,

I'll be the first to admit I have a problem. Two, really. The first is buying books in excess- I have over forty unread texts on my bookcase (not counting those of my husband that I also want to read) and I keep buying more.The second is falling victim to coupons that offer a percentage-off discount- namely those you so religiously flood my inbox with every week. The self-control required to delete them is exhausting! Don't even get me started on the "save 40% off this weekend only" ones that I usually fall victim to. I'm running out of room- my shelves are almost full and I live in a one-bedroom apartment. Space is limited. The dog needs room to walk around. The DVDs need a home too. This constant enticement must stop.

To be honest, I don't even really like your store. You devote shelf after shelf to horrible authors and refuse to stock more than a few copies of more obscure, albeit quality, novels. Your live music nights remind me of American Idol rejects and I've actually seen your employees need to look up who wrote The Grapes of Wrath. Oh, and staff member Stephanie's recommendation card that says everyone should pick up a copy of Jennifer Weiner's newest book because she "really felt like the author understands what it's like to be a single girl" should be burned.

I know I'm the one that signed up for your stupid rewards program. And I'm the one that has chosen to not opt-out of the emails. But think about it. Are you going to sign an alcoholic up for the "Wine of the Month" club? I think not. Would a pothead decline a cheap bag of weed? I highly doubt it. As much as I hate your store I can always find some classic missing from my collection or the last copy of something that would never make it on the New York Times Bestsellers (of Mostly Crap) List.

I suppose an intervention may be in order. Or you could just intuitively stop sending me coupons since, in reality, I will make no effort to change anything.

I hate you people,

PS- I've enclosed a picture to illustrate the direness of the situation.

No comments:

Post a Comment