Bad Feminist, Part 2

The other day I wrote a post quickly reviewing Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist. First of all, there really isn't such a thing as "bad feminist," really. Sure, there are different degrees of feminism, but I hate the idea of declaring someone "bad" at it, and I'm pretty sure Gay would agree.

What I did find amusing and thought-provoking, though, was her sort of gradual cataloging of what would make her a bad feminist by the stereotypical definition of the term. This of course made me think of my own, imperfect, version of feminism and what I do that would make a "good feminist" and a "bad feminist." I started explaining each item, but thought I'd spare everyone the novel. 

1. I didn't change my name when I got married.
2. We have separate bank accounts and maintain a joint one for household expenses only. We split things like vacations, dinners out, etc... 
3. I believe women should receive equal pay for equal work. 
4. I passionately believe in a woman's right to do what she pleases when it comes to her reproductive/contraceptive health. 
5. I have never let men pay for me on dates just because they're the male. Except on my birthday. 
6. I believe women should have the opportunity to apply for any job out there, especially in the public sector/military. 
7. I do not believe a woman should be submissive to a husband for religious, traditional, or any other purposes. 
8. I think the concept of chivalry is archaic. 
9. My husband and I don't know each other's passwords for anything; not our phones, bank accounts, credit cards, emails, or anything else. 

1. I didn't put up a fight about my son having my husband's last name. 
2. I do most of the domestic chores and childrearing at home (this one I have to explain some; my husband commutes and isn't home late, while I'm home much earlier, so while tiring, it is logical).
3. I shave my legs every single day. Sometimes twice if I, for some reason, shower more than once.
4. I sincerely (and I guess vainly) care about my looks. 
5. Sometimes when I go to Home Depot I don't even bother trying to find things myself; I find a nice gentleman worker, smile, act slightly clueless, and let him find those light bulbs, or whatever, for me. 
6. I've let men be aggressive, condescending, and disrespectful towards me.
7. I think that women would get more respect when it came the issue of equality if they didn't put down men in the argument (is that bad?). Actually sometimes I think being so vocal, period, pushes people away from the cause. It's tough. 
8. I hate the "you go, girl!" movement. I hate how women get all cheesy and annoying about empowering each other. 
9. I get a tad bit pissy every Valentine's Day because we don't celebrate it. 


  1. My feminist views pretty much line up with yours!! :) #1 and #2 here as well.

  2. I love the idea of being a "bad feminist" -- I don't like the stereotypes associated with feminism and I think they do the movement a disservice. Just because I also like to shave my legs, doesn't mean I don't believe in equality for women. Feminism is supposed to be about equality and allowing women to make their own decisions, which for a lot of human history, we could not. Even if those decisions are "old-fashioned" or seemingly "anti-feminist," those are still her choices. Women don't HAVE to change their names or take on the majority of child rearing responsibilities, etc. etc. but just because they might choose to doesn't "set feminism back a few decades" or whatever nonsense you hear people saying.