Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

After a short break I am finally back! Link up, link back, say hi!

1. I took Sawyer on his first real hike today- he did almost three miles on his own, half of which was uphill. He was such a trooper and loved stopping to jump on rocks and collect little twigs. I look forward to many more in the future.

2. Kate's post on the most widely listed best-of-books is money, guys. She put it up a few weeks ago, but I'm just now catching up with life. Check it out.

3. Speaking of fellow bloggers, Brie is having her baby today! Stop by and wish her luck. Rory had a little one recently, too. You girls are all drinking the same water... 

4. It's so nice to be off for many, many reasons, but being able to cook legitimate dinners that require actual time has been downright satisfying. Last night I made this Roasted Tomatillo Chicken Enchilada Casserole last night (an old favorite of ours, but a bit labor intensive with all the roasting and food-processing) and tomorrow I am going to brave Slow Cooker Cabernet Beef Short Ribs with Mascarpone Polenta (as long as my bag of uncooked polenta arrives from Amazon on time, since my grocery store was out...). 

5. I don't usually get sentimental about celebrity deaths- I'm too emotionally detached to get super sad about people I don't know. But Carrie Fischer? Damn. Too soon.

6. After doing book talks with my students the week before finals, I was convinced by several students to read The Glass Castle, The House on Mango Street, and A Long Way Gone, all books I should have read but do not. 

7. I am currently about 70 pages into Brit Bennett's debut The Mothers and am thoroughly loving sassy Naomi and the intricacies of the Upper Room Chapel. 

8. I have to admit to being a little sad about packing away Christmas. This year was one of the best yet- having a toddler that is incredibly excited about every little aspect just makes the holidays that much better. We've had a lot of fun and it's been really special to see everything through his eyes.

9. I just finished listening to Lauren Graham's memoir Talking as Fast I Can and, in honor of Princess Leia, will start Carrie Fischer's The Princess Diarist next. Graham's was incredibly fun and super high nostalgia wise for Gilmore Girls lovers like myself.   

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. An old student stopped by the other day, one who I only had for a little while a few years ago, and she said that recently dropped a ton of cash at the bookstore on titles I had recommended. OHMYGOD SOMEONE HAS LISTENED.

2. Recently one of my friends and colleagues kindly bought Sawyer something and I mentioned to another one of my friends that I felt bad because I feel like I am never spontaneously thoughtful enough. She looked at me like I was crazy and listed some things to prove I was wrong. Her thoughtfulness about my underestimated thoughtfulness made my day. I am so lucky to surround myself with kind people. 

3. The other night I had a dream that I was going to IB training for work in Iran (but of course!) but got stuck in Turkey and was having trouble leaving because my tickets were wrong, but they weren't and I had no reason whatsoever to be in Istanbul- it didn't say it on any of my boarding passes. I think all my dreams can just be interpreted such that I have control issues.

4. Important reminder lesson based on extensive social media observations: parents embellish their children's developmental milestones like crazy ("so and so was potty trained at xx months" when you know it was more like xx, or "so and so could read by two and a half" when you know that would be really unrealistic based on, you know, cognitive development theories). It's fine, parents are proud, but using their posts for comparison purposes is stupid. *ahem, self, ahem*

Who am I kidding? Sawyer is two and a half, can read Tolstoy, knows how to drive a stick shift, and is fairly proficient at Mandarin (!). 

5. I know this is probably lame, but I have started using the guided breathing on my Fitbit at night and it has helped me go to sleep so much faster. Maybe because it's really effing boring laying there in the dark matching your breathing to circles. Nonetheless, I'll take it. 

6. Speaking of my beloved Fitbit, I have also started using it to count calories this week. I used to use something else sporadically, but I have found that since I have my Fitbit app open all the time to obsessively check data, this is easy. Pros: it allows you to set weight goals and sets up your calorie allowances based on this, it matches your burned calories to consumed calories, and the charts are handy. Cons: there isn't data for macro and micro nutrients, which is actually a huge disadvantage (200 calories of something nutrient-dense like quinoa and veggies is way different than a candy bar). 

7. How are there only two more weekends before Christmas? Augh! This weekend we are going to take Sawyer to Downtown Disney to check out the decorations and people ice skating and then Sunday is my husband's birthday so will probably go out to lunch or something along those lines. I'd also like to bake and eat my body weight in Christmas cookies and have to find time to grade a few hundred papers.

8. I need to start rereading Carlos Ruiz Zafon's Shadow of the Wind asap for book club. I have a hard time getting motivated to reread things, but I am also a diehard "you must finish/reread the book before book club" rule follower. I read it a really, really long time ago, but I do remember loving it so very much. I'm sure I'll be happy I had a second time around.

9. Scott took Sawyer's Christmas card pictures the other night and they turned out SO CUTE. He has a beard covering his face (spoiler alert, haha), so maybe I'll bend the rules and post one. They're that great. 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

[my neglected, but so loved, pups]

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1. I saw someone cleaning the outside of their house with a duster when we were walking earlier and I was like, "WHAT THE HECK I CAN BARELY KEEP THE INSIDE CLEAN!!!!" I hate that person. I don't need the bar set that high. 

2. I am very excited for Halloween next week. Sawyer is going to be Chewbacca and he loves his costume very much. I am a little nervous that he might choke when it comes to seeing other people dressed up, though, since he has completely lost it when he's seen mascots at events. Nonetheless, I already called Reese's PB Cups for the mom trick-or-treating tax.

3. I hate chewy, fruity candy, but I am obsessed with strawberry and cherry Hi-Chews. They're soooooooo gooooooooood. 

4. It's been a rough five or so days and I cannot wait for this week to be over. Actually, last week was sort of crappy too. It's been one little thing after another, which as stand alone issues are pretty manageable, but when they all start piling up things start becoming overwhelming. Compounded with a head cold and the normal bone-tired exhaustion, well, let's just say enough is enough.

5. The book we just read for book club, The Sellout by Paul Beatty, won the Man Booker. An American! Since it's a satire on race it's of course not for everyone, but I really enjoyed it and we had a good conversation. It's not a book for every book club, either, but the six of us are pretty respectful, open-minded people , so it worked for us. 

6. Last week I wrote about how I had no plans for this past weekend and how it was probably good for me. It was not. I need things to look forward to and structure my time around. It's who I am and I own it. Hello, my name is Christine, and thrive on being busy. 

7. Do you need a laugh? I think you do. Take a look at these hilarious tweets about Obama and Biden.

8. I told my son that he was going to try soup for dinner while we were washing his hands. He thought I said "soap" so the next thing I know, he's licking the soap off his hands. I can't get him try real food, but he didn't even think twice about licking soap off his hands. Sigh. Toddlers. 

9. I made Sally's Salted Caramel Pretzel Crunch Bars last weekend and they were perfection. There are a million steps, though, so they can't be done on the fly. Still worth it (so is making the salted caramel from scratch).

10. There are so many post ideas swimming around in my head right now, but TIME! If there's a will there's a way... Supposedly. Something like that. [If I type it is real].

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. You know what's getting old? Taking the mature, high road in various arenas of my life. That seems to be the theme of my 2016, me opting to stay quiet and semi-classy, rather than not going off on people like I may want to. I can think of at least four BIG things I've chosen to "be good" about and it's killing me. And if I have to keep doing it, I think I should get... a prize. My tongue hurts from all the biting. 

Mini-rant over. Phew. 

2. I am reading Did You Ever Have a Family by Bill Clegg right now and am really, really enjoying it. It's very depressing, of course, since the book opens with a fire that kills a couple right before their wedding, as well as two other men, but I appreciate the multiple perspectives and thread of hope that is lurking in the background. 

3. I've wanted to take an Orange Theory class for FOREVER, but haven't been able to because the studio nearest me has a really horrible schedule and is thirty minutes to get to. I just got a flyer in the mail yesterday alerting me that they're putting one in the shopping center three minutes away from my house. I yelped with glee.

4. I think I found someone to do my next tattoo, so we're one step closer to that happening. 

5. I'm not sure how much longer I can resist the urge to buy this dress. I need another dress like I need a hole in my head, but I always buy something new for parent-teacher conferences, and they are just two or so weeks away... And this one is perfect for fall tights and boots. We all have our vices. Mine? Diet Coke and dresses.

6. I made these muffins over the weekend and they are delicious, even four days later. I'm not crazy for pumpkin like some of you hard-core PSL lovers, but I do enjoy a little here and there. The crumb topping on these was perfect (see picture above).

7. This weekend should be great. My mom is coming into town from Modesto on Friday and I think we are going to stop by the homecoming game at work for a bit. Saturday we are going to a pumpkin farm that has lots of activities for Sawyer, and then on Sunday we're meeting one of my oldest and bestest friends from elementary school to walk around Back Bay in Newport and then do brunch (or who are we kidding? We might just go to Sprinkles). I am going to get basically nothing done, though, so I really need to take advantage of the next two days. 

8. I have made an important decision. I am ditching my Mizunos and going back to Asics. I ran in a pair last night that are super, super old, but it felt like walking on a cloud. I'm sure basically no one knows what this mean. It's okay.

9. Confession: my new favorite running song is The Weeknd's Starboy. 

10. I just paid way too much money for three tickets for Day Out With Thomas. Yes, that's right, Thomas the MOTHER-EFFING Tank Engine. WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO? I need to plan something stat to counteract this. 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. I want to see Bad Moms, but I think most of my fellow moms are too busy being good moms (kidding, kidding, good moms can see movies too) to go with me, especially since many of us our teachers and are getting ready to start the school year.

2. Today kicks off several busy days. We are going to a friend's house to swim for the afternoon, tomorrow we are going up to UCLA to walk around and have lunch with an old friend from where I worked, Friday we are going to the OC Fair, and Saturday I have a hair appointment that generally lasts for hours. But it's all good stuff, some I'm not complaining (except about the heat; I might complain about that).

3. I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about discovering Boden. I bought a dress shirt covered in trees to wear under blazers this fall and am refusing to let myself look anymore until I get paid in a few days. 

4. Last Saturday Scott and I had plans to go to lunch and then to The Broad in Downtown LA, but as the morning drug on the traffic got worse and the weather hotter. Eventually, I pulled the plug and just knew driving out there would be more stressful than fun, so I suggested driving to Newport Beach for lunch and to hang out instead. It ended up being relaxing and fun with less time in the car.

5. Sunday we took Sawyer to see The Secret Life of Pets, since we abandoned him for awhile on Saturday. I packed a huge bag of Honey Nut Cheerios with some mini M&Ms on the bottom and the kid sat still for the entire movie. I was really surprised, but he loves dogs and he loves candy, so I guess for him it was a win-win.

6. I have done yoga every single day for eight days with the DownDog Ap and I feel so much better. I have some residual pain from an accident years and years ago, that has been flaring up lately so it's been good to loosen everything up and keep working on my flexibility. I know I won't be able to sustain this commitment to practice when school begins, and that makes me a little sad.

7. Sawyer always blows on his food when it's hot and he's started doing that outside, too, since it's been in the upper 90s for awhile now. I told him we weren't going to walk around at the shopping center we go to because it was hot out and he began walking up to everything and blowing on it, trying to cool the world down. Spoiler alert: it didn't work. But it was cute. 

8. I have decided to get a tree tattoo on my neck, so I can cover it when I need to but also so that it's visible as well, unlike my other one. I just can't decide what kind of tree. I'm in no rush and have to find someone to do it, as well, but I do sort of wish I had made this decision a few months ago so I could have had it done this summer.

9. My friend does a 50-mile walk for MS every year and I think I'm going to join her in 2017. I thought about doing it this November, but I need to fundraise and have my toe fixed first. 

10. I'm reading The Prisoners of Heaven by Carlos Ruiz Zafon and I had forgotten how much fun he is. Sixty pages in and such an enjoyable read so far. 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts- Tahoe Edition

[from my walk/hike the second day]

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1. I just got back from Lake Tahoe last night, so instead of doing a separate post I decided to just use this one. I went with a few colleagues for work for IB training and the specific workshop I attended with my good friend was focusing on something called the Extended Essay, which is a 4,000 word essay our kids write on pretty much anything they're interested in. It's an area of weakness at our site, so the two of us have been tasked with sort of revamping this part of the program.

2. I left on Saturday, after a very hectic day. I was supposed to leave for the airport at 10 in the morning to fly up with the others, but Sawyer wasn't feeling great and I had to take him to urgent care. It was one of those "you have to make the call RIGHT now" sort of situations and so I opted to take a later flight that left at four so I could get everything sorted out with him. We got him fixed up perfectly and he was completely fine by the time I left of the airport, so that really was the most important thing. My day of travel ended up much longer than originally planned, though, including a three-hour layover in Oakland and an hour drive from the Reno airport to Lake Tahoe in the pitch dark at 10:30 that night when I finally got arrived (I also had to pay for the rental since the district will only reimburse one car and obviously that goes to the people that made the correct flight). But, everyone was safe and happy so we'll call it a win. Plus I finally got to try Fenton's Creamery on my layover after hearing about it many times before from Bay Area friends.

[this was me, for hours]

3. The workshop itself is great- IB trainings are the best professional developments I've ever gone to. Our instructor was knowledgable, the other participants were smart and interesting, and it cleared up some questions we had. I love hearing about where people are from- at our table alone there was a teacher from The Cayman Islands, a teacher-librarian from a prestigious private school in Manhattan, and a woman from a small town close to where I grew up). 

4. It was also a little overwhelming- we have our work cut out for us (we are also taking over a new class, on top of this and teaching English, but I'm not thinking about that right now). But my philosophy is that as long as we are making improvements and setting a few attainable goals to focus on we are headed in the right direction.

[Lake Tahoe, from Tahoe City]

5. I have come to the conclusion that I am a good traveler [pats self on back]. I deal with roadblocks, I'm flexible, I enjoy taking in the local scene, and I am cool with letting others do their own thing. I stay positive and am always just thankful for an opportunity to get out of the area where I live. And I never panic about getting lost (go-go Google Maps!). Granted I'm probably a pain of the ass when I am actually home, but when I leave I'm your girl to hit the road with.

6. Between the two free afternoons I hiked/walked about twelve miles from the hotel where we stayed to Lake Tahoe and on part of the lake path. The first day I was with my friend and the second day I wanted to go back, so I went alone. Unfortunately, I didn't want to check baggage so I went without hiking or tennis shoes and did all of this in my Toms. My feet, whose shortcomings I think I've sufficiently bitched about before, were pissed. They made me pay dearly for this by yesterday afternoon, but it was worth it. There was no way I was going to Lake Tahoe and not taking advantage of the scenery.

[it's so ugly there, God]

7. I had a few hours in the evening on Sunday and Monday to myself and was able to finish The Girls by Emma Cline and start The Vacationers by Emma Straub (two very different books). 

8. I missed my home and family, of course, but I really did enjoy the brief time away. I slept better than I have slept since having Sawyer- no joke. I didn't have to vacuum, feed dogs, unload the dishwasher, change diapers, cook dinner, or do any other the other domestic tasks that I have to each day. I was able to sit down and read for an hour straight without being interrupted and was able to get through several meals without stopping to help someone else. I know this probably sounds self-indulgent to some, but I frankly don't care. I desperately needed a few days to myself and it was just what I needed to recharge. 

9. I think part of the reason why I was content to leave and be alone for three nights was because things were fine at home. Scott had Sawyer during the weekend and they had a blast going to the toy store and eating McDonalds and watching Zootopia. My mother-in-law came over Monday and Tuesday and the two of them got along like gangbusters. I left six or so pages of notes and was available all day to text. Everyone, and the house, stayed in one piece.  

10. Our trip back was a little long, since there was a bit of a storm going through parts of Nevada. Our flight from Las Vegas back home to Ontario (as in Ontario, California not Canada) was late to board and then we sat on the plane for quite a while (first because they were behind loading luggage because of the lightning and then because some sort of wind pocket was noticed as we were taxiing). Eventually we got home and Sawyer was so excited to see me, and I him. 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

[Lake Tahoe when I was there four years ago]

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1. I'm on book five of summer break (we're two and a half weeks in). I am proud. I'm about half way through Ways to Disappear by Idra Novey and while I do find it interesting, I think there are a lot of areas that it's lacking, at least so far 

2. I am soon leaving for Lake Tahoe for three nights for work training and I am equal parts excited and full of dread. Obviously, three nights of guaranteed sleep and no domestic responsibility is pretty amazing, as is the beautiful location (we get done by three or four and can hike in the afternoon), and the quality of the seminars (I've gone for something in a different subject before). But, the logistics of leaving are a bit tedious. I hope everything goes smoothly and I can learn lots, relax, and get to spend some outside. 

3. I took Sawyer to a place called Pretend City today with a friend and her kids, and it was the coolest kid's museum ever. Basically, it's set up like a small town and the kids can interact in little rooms set up like a doctor's office, farm, STEM lab, gas station, fire department, etc... It was clean, creative, and the kids had a total blast. I even signed up for a membership since it was such a good deal. I think we only have to go back four more times in a year for it to be worth the price. Not bad.

4. We've had a busy few days, since we went to Downtown Disney over the weekend as a family, had a friend over to swim yesterday, and then have things scheduled for the rest of the week. But busy if good when busy is fun, and it has been, minus the scheduled well-child check up for Sawyer tomorrow. 

5. I am absolutely addicted to G.H. Cretor's Chicago Mix Popcorn. It's half caramel and half cheese, in the same bag. I pretty much hate popcorn, but this stuff is the best.

6. So, I love the Des' sit-in going on right now for gun control regulation, but I'm doubtful it will really help. I love that those who aren't participating are bringing their colleagues things like "soda pop" and "Pop Tarts." Damn straight. If you aren't going to help me work, the least you can do is bring me a Diet Coke and a strawberry Pop-Tart.

7. Apparently I'm going to just keep talking about food, because my husband sent me a link to Burger King's newest heart-attack-in-a-wrapper creation, which I must try:

[source]

8. These are the best shorts, ever, period, the end. They zip on the side, have a  scalloped hem, and can be dressed up or down. I have two black pairs (and many, many others from the Riveria line, and basically live in them every day). PSA: I think they're 50% right how. 

9. The other night I had a dream that the pool guy said that there was something wrong with our pool pump and GUESS WHAT! When I woke up the pump wasn't cycling water through and I had to call him to come fix it (I also worked myself into an impressive internal state of pissiness because I just knew that it was going to cost hundreds of dollars to repair... and then it was basically nothing and I don't think he's even going to charge us... the silver lining to seeing the glass half empty is the occasional pleasant surprise).  

10. If you have a toddler I highly recommend the Suryia and Roscoe books. they're not exactly brilliantly written, but Sawyer loves seeing the dog photographs of the dog and the orangutan together. He mimics Suryia's expressions and has me hold him upside down when we get to a certain page.  

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. This past week has been quite a busy one (hence the lack of posts). Sawyer and I went to visit my family in Modesto for three nights and we're finally back in the swing of things here. We actually had a lot more fun than I anticipated; the 6.5 hour drive up Friday went really well and after we checked into our hotel we headed downtown for the annual American Graffiti Parade. There were over 1200 classic cars, one of which belonged to my mom's boyfriend, so Sawyer had a blast. Saturday we drove to Sacramento to visit the California Train Museum, which I had initially decided on primarily because of Sawyer's current obsession, but we all enjoyed it. The next day we went to a car show that had the cars from the parade and just hung out. I made my family go to all the old places I loved to eat at and enjoyed watching Sawyer ham it up for his doting audience. The ride back wasn't near as stellar, but my friend Val was a godsend, between her patience and willingness to play with an emotional toddler. 

2. A week or so ago I watched the Macbeth movie that came out last Christmas and was fairly underwhelmed. It was visually very appealing, and the score was fitting, but there were some liberties taken with the story that I didn't love.

3. A few months ago I optimistically bought three pairs of shorts from Loft that were a teeny tiny bit too snug- I'm happy to say they now fit juuust right and I just bought several more. Victory is mine.

4. Actually, considering the lunch that I just had they may not fit anymore... My husband is home today and we dropped Sawyer off at daycare for a little while so we could go out to lunch alone and I feel like an Oompa Loompa. It was nice to sneak away, though, since it's really rare that we're able to do that in the middle of the day during the week.

5. I know it's summer and I live in a warm place, but the upcoming weather is horrible. I am ever-so-thankful for a working AC, solar panels, and a pool. 

6. Brie's book club over on her blog voted to read The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan for their next selection. Given that I have a million books to read right now, and that this really isn't necessarily something I'd choose to read, I thought about waiting until next month. But then I had a genius idea- I'd listen to it. This was the perfect solution- while it's not exactly high-brow lit, it's entertaining, perfect for summer, and the narrator is decent. 

7. I made this Mascarpone, strawberry, mint and honey tart that I found over on The How Sweet It Is blog last night. It was really easy and perfect for summer.

8. The generous gift card my seniors got me for Barnes and Noble was burning a hole in my pocket, so I went book shopping yesterday. Man, I miss those kids, and not just because they fueled my addiction.

9. Someone tried really, really hard to bait me today on Facebook this morning by saying that feminism and racism are non-issues and that people are just "sheep," giving into mainstream media by caring about gender and racial equality. Whoa, let's back that 1950's misogynistic, bigoted train up, shall we? I briefly gave my two cents but eventually closed it out by saying that I refused to argue with people I don't know (it was someone on my brother's post). I felt pretty mature, since I could have gone to town on the young man (and really, really wanted to).

10. I'm headed to an actual yoga class in a studio tomorrow for the first time in a looooong time. Pray for me.  

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. Does anyone have Tieks? Should I buy some? I love flats (well, my feet do, since they're assholes), and there's a girl at work who swears by them, but they cost a fortune. Who has some? Tell me more. Yes or no? 

2. I want to go to Vegas, without my child, for two nights, and with friends that will have fun and not wimp out at like 11. I want to stay somewhere expensive, spend way too much money on food and drinks, wear something that I probably am too old to wear, and sleep embarrassingly late the next day in a bed that I do not have to make. WHY IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK?

3. But, instead of this, I am going to the glorious Modesto this weekend with Sawyer and one my oldest and favorite friends (she's staying with her mom, I'm staying at a hotel, not because of my mom, I love her and she's great). I have mixed feelings about this trip. Part of me thinks the drive will suck, because of the two-year-old, part of me thinks it will be fun, because I'm a little bit of a sucker for a quickish road trip (6-6.5 hours). Part of me thinks I hate Modesto still, part of me is excited to eat Yogurt Mill and Taqueria Carolina. And see my family. It's been over three years since I've been back and it's just.... weird

4. I wasn't sure about the new Beck song, but I listed to it a dozen times and now I like it.

5. I'm on my second book of the summer, and I've only been off for five days. It feels good.

6. In the past day I've dealt withe the fence finally being put up in the back yard, the HVAC coming to finish up an issue with our downstairs unit, and the gardener about a sprinkler pressure issue. I have zero shits left to give about home maintenance.  

7. I have dinner plans with an old student tonight after Sawyer's bedtime and I know there's a solid chance I'm going to forget because it's so out of my normal routine and I have a weird headache. I haven't accidentally ditched her yet and I already feel like an asshole. 

8. Sawyer has developed the habit of telling everyone who even gives him a tiny bit of attention about whatever is on his shirt. Today is was Curious George, yesterday a goldfish in a bowl that he thought was a baseball, and so on and so forth. I think it's cute, but at some point people are going to think he's weird. 

9. Friday night (or Saturday?) sucked, and I was tired, so when I went to bed I needed to sleep. Sawyer somehow knew this and didn't wake up. Apparently I should have told the people that live in back of us, because at 4 am they started having extremely loud sex. Who does this? At 4? They aren't young, either. Were they up for the day? Had they not gone to bed yet? Did they wake up coincidentally at the same time and just go for it? I turned my light on and they took the hint and shut their window (mine had been open too, that's why I could hear). At the time I was super pissed, but now I'm just confused and a little impressed.

10. I am pretty sure most of America knows who they are voting for at this point. Let's cut the crap and just have the election now. I just can't deal with the internet for the next five months. People are idiots.

  

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. I will be done for the school year at approximately 9:30 Friday morning when I hand over my check out paperwork to the school secretary. I have a decent amount of stuff to do before then, but the fact that the end is close is good enough. I have a massage booked for a few hours, which therefore leads me to my next several points:

1a. I am totally lying to the daycare lady and telling her I have to work closer to my normal time. I feel like an absolute asshole every time I take off work and take Sawyer to her; like when I had an appointment in the middle of the day a few weeks ago I dropped him off and picked him up at the same time. She wouldn't care, or judge me, but apparently I am doing so enough for the both of us. 

1b. Lying makes me feel really, really guilty. Even just small lies like that, that don't really "matter" in the whole scheme of things. I really cannot comprehend people who lie super easily, and frequently. It's very unsettling. 

1c. Massages are super, super strange if you think about it. I am going pay an absolute stranger to touch my almost completely unclothed self. Actually, it sounds worse than strange. Yet this practice is something widely accepted, embraced, and sometimes even medicinally encouraged. I am still going. 

1d. Not only do I need a massage because I have been a partial wreck lately, but because I have been spending anywhere from 2-5 hours on Sawyer's floor at night. This is pretty much my fault; he wakes up only once at night for whatever reason and generally goes back to sleep once he hears me tell him he's fine and maybe pats him on the back. I then decide to stay to make sure he stays asleep (he always does). I then, in my sleepiness, promptly lay down on the floor and fall immediately asleep. I wake up tired, sore and cranky. It's a blast. 

2. My car is a filthy mess and I need to have it washed. The most logical and economical way to fix this would be to do it myself, but I've been having a serious energy shortage lately (see 1d above). I could take it to one of the fancy washes, but they take a long time. So, the other option would be the cheap gas station one, but guess what? I am sort of scared of humiliating myself in those because I am not an especially precise driver and am not sure if I can sufficiently line up my wheels in the little section you have to so in (obviously my lack of precision also applies to describing what you have to do, but I'm assuming you all know what I'm talking about). 

3. I ordered a water table for Sawyer and I have these high hopes that he will play with it for hours and hours this summer while I can sit in the sun and read. I mean who wouldn't want to stand on the concrete and pour water around? 

4. Tomorrow is our last book club meeting of the year and we are each coming with suggestions to vote for next year. I'm suggesting When Breath Becomes Air, The Turner House, The Sellout, and Love in the Time of Cholera. I also need to finish Euphoria for the meeting, which I hear has some pretty interesting sex scenes towards the end. We haven't dealt with many books with such "adult content," so I'm a little interested to see how the conversation goes. I'm definitely no prude (I mean within reason... it's not like  I have a whip or anything Fifty Shades of Gray crazy, for God's sake), but I know such topics make some people a little uneasy. 

5. I'm sure other bloggers can relate to the question "how long will this thing keep going?" I don't really have any plans to stop (minus a few overtired moments of considering eliminating necessary time sucks and unnecessary windows into my life for certain people), but it can't go on forever, right? 

6. I donated a very small amount of money to a certain political candidate's campaign (putting my money where my mouth is and all that, I guess) and let me tell you, HOLY EMAILS. I unleashed a monster of propaganda, some of which was on the guilt-trip nature. It definitely made me rethink my donation (but not my beliefs). 

Have a great week, folks!

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

[seriously the biggest bunch of flowers I have ever received in my life]

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1. Tomorrow my seniors, whom I have had for two (some three) years are checking out for the school year. I was already really, really sad about this, and then today they went and threw me a surprise thank-you celebration sort of thing that was so incredibly generous and thoughtful that now I want them to stay forever. It was so unexpected and sweet- one of the nicest gestures anyone has ever made in my direction. I am having a rough time with this and hope to get the excessive crying over with either before or after I see them tomorrow because I really don't want to do it in public. I am such an ugly crier, which, truth be told, I am actually doing right now because I am a sappy ball of mush who cannot keep her shit together. Last time this happened, when my previous group left, I was like a month post-partum so I blamed it on the hormones, but apparently this is JUST WHO I AM. OH MY GOD.  

2. I feel like people who have have the foresight to use sun shades in their car when they park really have their shit together.

3. Yes! There will be a summer reading suggestions post. Very soon.

4. I really want a pair of wooden sunglasses but am having a hard time finding a pair I like online. This is the sort of thing I get in my head that I really want and then become determined to make happen, though. I can tell already.

5. Yesterday I dropped my effing phone face down on the concrete and smashed the screen to pieces. Because I have a co-dependent relationship with a piece of technology I basically threw my child into the car and begged the repair place to stay open. And they did and we all lived happily ever after.

6. I have started bring my son to eat dinner when he is being picky by refusing to read another page of what I'm reading him that night. It works, but I know it won't for long so I'll enjoy it lasts.

7. The friend that I'm traveling up north with in a few weeks texted me the other day asking me what sort snacks I wanted. This will obviously work.

8. If you want to throw yourself a pity party invite these. 

We're cutting things short tonight. Things to do and whatnot. Have a great rest of the week! 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. Hey! Guess what? I'm a shitty blogger this month. Hey! Guess what? No one is paying me to do this nor am I offering life-or-death information, so in the whole scheme of things it probably doesn't really matter. But maybe it does, to me, a tiny bit. 

2. I had my annual check up the other day and the night before I had a nightmare I was pregnant. I am not, at all, not even a tiny bit, but for those first five minutes when I woke up I was pretty upset --> how I know that I should not consider having another child at this point. It's good to have the occasional reality check. 

3. The same day I went to this neat little coffee shop by my doctor's (they work with a homeless rescue mission to employ some of their students) to kill time after hemming and hawing because it's housed at a mega-church, particularly one that I do not agree with the messaging behind (let's talk about religion on another day). I felt seriously awkward about even driving into the parking lot, but I was pleased that they didn't make me feel uncomfortable and that I didn't burn alive. And the coffee was decent. 

4. I realized that the eighteenth anniversary of my dad's death is approaching in the next few days (I wrote about it a little here, several years ago). Eighteen years! It honestly hadn't occurred to me that it had been that long, but I guess after a certain point you stop counting the years. I know this sounds completely and utterly horrible, but the whole thing doesn't really make me sad. It's unfortunate, for sure, and I wish the circumstances of the last few years of his life had been different, but... I am a soulless monster who is practical to a fault and good at compartmentalizing? Who knows, maybe I will have a nervous breakdown in ten years and the psychologist entrusted with my care will determine it all comes back to this. Anyway, the whole point of this is just to show how FAST life can move, not to garner sympathy. 

5. Pro Tip: if you are having people over and your house isn't really, shall we say... clean, just shut the shades. This has been my go-to cleaning tip for the last few weeks and is working wonders. Suck on that, Pinterest.

6. I went to the Don DeLillo reading last week and it was great. I sort of meant to post about it and then forgot and just remembered again right now. Soon, soon.

7. I am reading The Regional Office is Under Attack! by Manuel Gonzalez and it has failed me as a quick read. Or maybe my life as failed to let it be a quick read, due to the grading and and end-of-the-year madness. I think my problem has been the short chapters, which typically would ensure a speedy reading experience. I'm not getting super invested in any one character, since the narrative jumps around so much. I'm therefore not compelled to read quite as often, which results in my taking way too long to get through it. 

8. I just finished listening to Trespassing Across America by Ken Ilgunas (interesting take on someone walking the Keystone Pipeline) and am now onto Eat Move Sleep by Tom Rath. Everything so far has been things I pretty much already know, but since I listen to it for part of the way home in the afternoon it's a good reminder to not eat my body weight in cookies for my snack. 

9. I ordered this from this cool Etsy shop in Poland ages ago and it finally came. I love it.

10. I find it amusing when people say that they "hate good byes." Who really likes to say good bye? I guess if you're saying good bye to someone you don't like that's one thing, but how often do we really get that opportunity? Obviously I am sadly anticipating the departure of my seniors next week...

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

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1. I'm off to the Don DeLillo reading tonight at The Writer's Guild Theater in Beverly Hills (I think? I need to check that) with a friend. Just like old times.

2. The idea of being on autopilot when you're driving it so disturbing. I was on my way to pick up Sawyer from daycare today and all the sudden I looked around and was surprised that I was already as far down the street as I was. 

3. Next Tuesday is the Staff vs Senior Softball Game and I plan on working really hard to not humiliate myself. Last year I did fairly decent (ie no dropped fly balls or strike outs), so hopefully I can continue to not suck.

4. I'm generally sort of stingy when it comes to being affectionate (I blame my parents), but I've come to the realization that at sometimes my son will want me to not randomly kiss him in places like the grocery store or Starbucks and that is so very sad.

5. I can't stop listening to this song. It has a little bit of country-ish undertones to it, which I generally despise, but I can't help it. 

6. I don't have any real strong feelings towards Beyonce one way or the other, but a friend posted this "syllabus" in regards to Lemonade and I love the idea of combining so many mediums and making the whole thing so culturally educating. 

7. I think we're going to take Sawyer to see a movie for the first time in the theater this weekend and I'm curious to see how he will do. His attention span is obviously very limited, and we don't spend a lot of time watching TV or movies at home. I am hopeful he enjoys it and sits through most of it so that my husband can start taking him to all the lame kids ones and I can stay home alone. 

8. While I don't have a strong desire to go to BEA for whatever reason, I am a little jealous of the people who got ARCs of Jonathan Safran Foer's new book that doesn't come out until September. He hasn't had a novel come out in several years, so I'm looking forward to it.

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

Link up, link back, say hi! Gotta make it quick today! 

1. Tonight I will be attending our annual IB Celebration at the school where I teach, in order to recognize you students and jump into testing season. It really is bittersweet as a senior teacher. This marks the beginning of The End, and while I am ridiculously excited about summer break and proud of their success, I have grown very attached to some of my students and find it a little hard to accept that soon they won't be "my" kids anymore. But, we still have a few weeks so let's not get ahead of ourselves.

2. I was browsing iTunes for new music and checked out the Strumbellas' new album on a whim (basically because I thought their name was strange) and am really enjoying it. 

3. I rarely ever get seriously angry, but getting a text from my husband yesterday morning with our backyard fence knocked over pissed me off beyond belief. Yeah, I'm mad about having to spend the money, but the truth in the matter is that I don't want to have to take care of something else. I don't want to deal with finding a reputable contractor or company to fix it or going back-and-forth between the neighbors. I don't want to have to worry about the liability that comes with an exposed fence and a pool. And I don't want to have to schedule my life around people coming out the house to complete the project. I know this is a part of home ownership and that I'm lucky to have a home, but seriously, I don't have time for this shit right now. Couldn't the wind wait a few more weeks until I'm off?

4. Amusing: people are SO mad at Target because HOW DARE they consider people that are DIFFERENT in their store policies and yet their stock dropped for about five minutes and has gone back to normal levels. Moral of the story- investors don't think there are legitimate financial threats. 

5. I have asthma and it's been acting up big-time lately. Last fall I had problems with it and the doc at urgent care kindly told me that it was probably due to the fact that I needed to get my shit together (well, maybe not quite those words). I don't manage my asthma or allergies well, nor do I my levels of stress (well, I manage them outwardly, but on the inside I'm always two steps away from losing it). Anyway, I think I'm back there again, and probably need to have the pulmonary function test that he recommended done. Sure. Maybe the fence contractor can meet me at my PCP's office and we can talk about my lungs, the fence, grade papers together, and watch my kid.

6. I just finished Claire Messud's The Woman Upstairs today and need to pick something else out. I try just sort of go with my mood and expected levels of free time when I choose something, but I'm at standstill right now. Maybe the fact that I'm at an all-time of over 70 unread books on my shelves right now that makes the process a little overwhelming.