Reading Margaret for the First Time as an Adult

Somehow, I missed the memo as a preteen that I was supposed to read and identify Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. I read some of her other books, but this one somehow slipped through the cracks. I saw Blume speak a few years ago at a festival and mentally put the YA novel on my wish list (for the record, it's the only YA book on there) but, once again, overlooked it. I finally picked it up this summer after grabbing her newest adult novel, In the Unlikely Event, and seeing other bloggers, like Rory, revisit this classic. So, I decided I'd read about twelve-year-old Margaret for the first time at thirty-one.

One thing that stood out to me the most was the lack of technology. I loved it! These kids had to work at finding out if someone liked them- they couldn't just jump on SnapChat. They had to use house phones and look people "in the book." They experienced boredom. They had to go outside and run in the sprinklers to cool off instead of streaming a movie on Netflix in the air conditioned indoors. Oh, and they use encyclopedias for school work (and to look up male anatomy, naturally). It's all so endearing and refreshing. 

Another thing that struck me was Margaret and her friends' extensive conversations about boobs and periods. Maybe it's just me and my total disgust with bodily functions, but I never ever remember talking about those sorts of topics with anyone when I was that age. It's probably a good things I have a son.

I did love how religion was handled in this book. Margaret's parents aren't practicing, since their parents had conflicting ideas about such topics before they married, yet she is still very interested in religion and embarks on a school project to invest her options. Honestly, after reading this I decided that everyone should wait until they're an adult to pick their religious path. So often people are Catholic or Methodist or whatever because that's how they were raised and haven't really thought about it for themselves. But anyway, I digress. 

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It was a super, super quick book that I read in snippets while keeping one eye on the kid. It was nice to see what all the fuss is about, but I'm guessing I'd feel a little more warm and fuzzy about the whole thing if there was a nostalgic factor for me, which there is not. I do think this is still a great book for the ten-twelve crowd, though! 

Things I Refuse to Feel Guilty About

[Nope. Not going to either]

1. Honking at people. The asshole deserved it. 

2. Occasionally shelling out $20 on Smashbox lipgloss. 

3. Wanting what other people have. Land Rovers. Awesome patio furniture. Nice feet. Inner peace. 

4. Deeply caring about how much I weigh. I've weighed myself almost daily since college, not that I necessarily do anything about it. I'm a stats-driven person.

5. Desperately wanting a housekeeper to come just once, to deep clean. Just once, that's all.

6. Giving my baby a few ounces of formula throughout the day. He's primarily breast milk-fed but sometimes needs a little more. I refuse to let him starve, he's on the smaller side anyway.

7. Drinking, and loving, Diet Coke.

8. Thinking that Patrick Stewart is hot.

9. Throwing clothes in the dryer with a damn towel rather that ironing. Truth be told, I suck balls at it. 

10. Supporting various welfare programs but thinking drug testing should be required. I know it's very Republican of me (shudder), but I think it should happen. Those that use, especially parents, should receive assistance with rehab, though.

11. Generally not changing grades. You have to earn it. And no, crying won't help. 

12. Refusing to partake in organized religion but praying when necessary. Yes, I'm one of those people. I guess I use God.

13. Not baptizing Sawyer. Speaking of religion... My mom's family is quite Catholic, so I've been asked about this a few times. 

14. Liking Facebook. Educated, cultured grown-ups aren't supposed to support such a ridiculous habit, but I don't care. It helps me get in touch with people and is entertaining.

15. De-friending or blocking people on Facebook. If I wouldn't wish you happy birthday I'm cutting you out. If you're a family member that's annoying as shit but would notice if I de-friended you and would ask my mom I'm blocking you.

16. Liking Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

17. Not being impressed with popular books. Even those that are liked by the literate crowd. 

18.  Not allowing things to get in the way of enjoying my time off with my baby. 

19. Caring and worrying about money. And wanting more of it, please.

20. Still listening to The Backstreet Boys, Sir-Mix-a-Lot, and Britney when I exercise. And possibly when I drive too... 

What about you?

Isabel Allende Reading

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Last night a friend and I went to hear Isabel Allende speak at the beautiful All Saints Catholic church in Beverly Hills [insert joke about me not catching fire here]. I saw her a few years ago when she was promoting a different book and appreciated her wit and candor. Once again she did not fail to disappoint (although the sound system did).

A few highlights: 

•  Allende says that magical realism is definitely embedded in American writing, it’s just often referred to as either
  
  “religion or psychology.”
• Allende says that her writing style has evolved; she no longer enjoys writing like she did for House of the Spirits and "feels bad for kids in schools that have to read it." Sorry, ma'am, but I'm going to have to disagree... 
• She starts writing projects on January 8, a superstitious habit that started when she first experienced success.
• She writes for herself; she isn’t writing to give advice. 
• That being said, her favorite books are the ones she writes. The woman is as straightforward as they come.
• People wanting to write need to look at novel writing as a sport; you have to do an enormous amount of behind the scenes training before the big game.
• The one type of novel that she is “afraid” to write is an erotic one, and

  

  [All Saint's]

  that’s just because her mother is still alive. Allende also brought giggles to the audience when she said you should never have to try to force writing- it should come naturally, "like an orgasm."
• She spoke about the struggles her family has faced- the idea of addiction, prevalent in her most recent novel, Maya’s Notebook, came from losing her two step-children, one just a month ago.
• She also spoke about the memoir she wrote, Paula, after daughter’s death. She spoke of the emotional toll it took on her, and how her son-in-law made her promise that if she were to publish the book she had to make sure to portray Paula accurately and more than “just a daughter.” This one is definitely on my list now.

And, for the record, Allende looks fantastic for 70.

Top Ten Tuesday- Confessions

Given the fact that I'm not Catholic I've never had to do the whole "forgive me Father for I have sinned" rigamarole. And given my personality type it's probably a good thing- I'd start recording my sins in an app for easy reference or check the confessional for bugs (because you never know). I prefer sharing my faults publicly via Facebook or going straight to the Big Man (or Woman or Two Headed Purple Monkey) myself. To each her own. 

A confessional at the Vatican in Rome.

The Broke and Bookish has anticipated the need for their little flock to confess some of their more bookish secrets this week, so here we go. I hope I don't traumatize you too much.

1. I swore that I'd get a book tattoo as soon as something happened to make the time right (how's that for vague?), but two month later I still don't have one. I don't know where exactly to put it and have been more squeamish about needles lately, despite my recent upgrade to big girl panties during recent blood tests- not even an urge to pass out! I just don't know...

2. I signed up for an Amazon Visa a few months ago and now charge everything to it so I get the points. I pay it off every month so it's not that big of a deal, I just feel guilty for feeding into the big-business, small-bookstore crunching mentality of Amazon.

3. I get depressed when I run the numbers on how many books I'll actually read in my life. Say I read, on average, 40 books per year, since I was like 13. I plan on dying when I'm 102, so that means I'll only read 3,560 quality texts in my lifespan. It's simply not enough.

4. The idea of running out of bookshelf space makes me very anxious. I have been blessed with a decent sized house, so it's not like we're lacking space, I just don't know what we'd do next.

5. I've never read The Bible. I don't really feel guilt regarding this on a religious level (God and I have this deal that allows me to do whatever I want and not have to feel bad for it until I die and... wait- am I talking Catholic?), but instead a literary one. There are a million religious references that I'm sure I'm missing since I'm not really up-to-date on my scriptures.

6. The only book that has ever made me cry is Where the Red Fern Grows.

7. Sometimes I go to appointments early on purpose so that I can read in the waiting room.

8. I fantasize constantly what it would be like to write a successful novel and live the life of someone paid to write all the time and yet do absolutely nothing to make that happen (wait, should I pray? Will God send someone to write a book for me? How does that work exactly?).

9. I wish someone would infect all eReaders with an permanent virus that changed all their ebooks to that stupid meowing rainbow cat.

10. I want to sock people in the face when they tell me they don't have time to read. STOP WATCHING TV AND PICK UP A DAMN EFFING BOOK! Seriously. Just say you don't want to, don't say you don't have time! If you have time to watch shows about homes being remodeled, cakes being decorated, or teenage girls getting knocked up you have time pick a DAMN EFFING BOOK.

Did I mention my God has a damn good sense of humor? Obviously, looking at our world...

Nonfiction Nagging- Those Silly Scientologists

Billion year contracts. Audits. Hip hip hooray. Tax exemption. Xenu. Tom Cruise jumping on a couch. Tom Cruise telling Brooke Shields she sucks for taking Xanax for post-partum depression.

Man, those Scientologists are a cooky bunch. 

My selection for book club this month (and by month I mean the three or four that has passed since the last book) was Inside Scientology by Janet Reitman. The timing with the whole Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise divorce was (I guess) perfect- why the hell she waited this long to bail is beyond me. Prior to reading the text I had known that the religion was a bit weird, but now, well now I know more about it than I need to. I could probably go on for paragraphs and paragraphs, but here are some of the very basics:

Origins/Technicalities

Scientology was invented by science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard in the 1950s as an extension of his first program, Dianetics. Basically, the premise is that people have to learn to help themselves by discovering everything about themselves and by blindly serving the organization. Scientologists believe that they are immortal and that they merely inhabit their physical forms before moving on- hence the need for billion year contracts. Scientologists join the church and pay for audits- specialized counseling sessions. They progress through different levels of awareness, passing over the "Bridge to Total Awareness." 

Money, Money, Money

Money is at the heart and soul of Scientology- they charged money to be audited, to be trained, and if they decide to leave the Church. They pressure members for donations and expect local orgs to raise million of dollars. A huge war of sorts went on with the IRS in order to obtain tax exemption- the Scientologists insisted that they were no different than the Catholics, Protestants or any other church in the nation. Some serious, serious harassment went on and then poof the IRS granted the Scientologists exemption. Oh, and they were off the hook in regards to paying what they owed when they weren't exempt. Sweet deal.

Dark Side

I think up until I read this book I thought of the organization as just being a little weird, but not necessarily dangerous. Now I'm not so sure. Punishments include time in isolation, manual labor, forced exercise, lack of medical care, and disregard of mental well being, just to name a few. The text told of one specific case, of a young woman named Lisa McPherson, who ended up dying because she was not given the care she needed. McPherson was heavily involved in the Church, but eventually reached her breaking point- after a fender bender she stripped her clothes off and started walking around the street naked. She was taken to a hospital after asking for help but was intercepted by several other members and taken back to the Church. She was kept in a room alone and received inadequate care, eventually dying. Her death was first listed as an embolism as a result of dehydration and forced bed rest. She had cockroach bites on her and contusions. The Church later forced the county to change their records to basically say it was an accident. 

Celebrity Status

Convincing celebrities to join was a huge component for the Scientologists- celebrities meant more attention and more money. Tom Cruise is of course one of the famous, as is John Travolta. Others include Jenna Elfman (haha, anyone remember Dharma and Greg?), Elizabeth Moss, Kristy Alley, Juliette Lewis, Beck, Jason Lee and Leah Remini. 

My Take

I really don't care what religion people decide to be, as long as they're not trying to convert me, are tolerant, and aren't endangering others. You can go ahead and worship a magical talking purple hippopotamus named Fred from the planet Nanu Nanu if you'd like, as long as you're a cool person who plays nice. Scientology doesn't necessarily follow Christine's Religious Guidelines, though. They're all about making money at the expense of others, demean those who need medicine and psychological care, and have used unethical techniques to get what they want. I'm sure there are a lot of normal, decent members, but some of the actions of the Church have been questionable in my eyes (not to say that other religious groups are perfect).

The Book

As with any book like this, the author definitely had an agenda. Why else would she write it? There were also some grammatical mistakes that should have been caught (for example "well-do-to" instead of "well-to-do"). At times it was a little boring and since there are so many acronyms and names your mind can't wander for a second or you'll have to go back and reread. That being said, I did find it very interesting. I was also a little disturbed by the fact that so many of the older compounds and ranches (including a massive headquarters called Gold Base) were/are located near the area where I currently live, a bit outside LA (this article has some interesting pictures).

Top Ten Tuesday- Rewind

The Broke and the Bookish is allowing us to pick from any of their old topics, so I figured I'd do the top ten books "I can't believe I haven't read." I may have done this one before, who knows. My brain is so fried from teaching/planning biology for 9 hours a day (and planning 4 hours last night) that I want to do things that I can't write here because they be incriminating later. I'm kidding. Let's just say I'm not really a serious complainer, but am somehow doing plenty of it right now (and it's not the kids or the fact that I'm working extra). Tomorrow the big-girl panties will be on and Negative Nancy will be sufficiently silenced.

Here we are:

1. Ulysses by James Joyce- It just seems important.

2. The Bible by God (just kidding, by King James... oh wait...)- I didn't have a strong religious upbringing and I've never had the urge. I know I need to for literary reasons.

3. Moby Dick by Herman Melville- I was good-naturedly chastised about this last week by a few colleagues and now I feel slightly guilty. Stupid whale.

4. Catch 22 by Joseph Heller- I know, I know! It fell through the cracks! It's like a doctor failing to learn about, I don't know, the liver.

5. Slaughterhouse- Five by Kurt Vonnegut- Another one that I probably should have read...

6. Underworld by Don Dellilo- I've owned it for like 8 years and have started it over two or three times. It's not bad, it's just that I'm good at making excuses.

7. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck- It just seems so depressing (see above sentence). And dusty (I really, really dislike movies with dirty people, like Westerns- I've more forgiving with books, but still, the Dust Bowl sounds gross).

8. The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon- This is a huge confession: I've never read anything by Pynchon. For some reason I got a little carried away with the idea that he's a total sci-fi writer, which is not my genre of choice. 

9. Lolita by Vladimir Nabakov- This was supposed to be our book club selection, but I changed my choice and Lolita remains unread.

10. Fifty Shades of Gray by EL James- Apparently the majority of women between the ages of 18 and 93 have read this... Hmm... I don't think I've heard of it... Oh wait. I'm sorry, but the majority does not rule. I'm also sorry that I will continue to bitch about this book until the next big thing that I disagree with comes along.

The Bunny Died for Our Sins. Right?

I used to love Easter when I lived at home- my mom hid baskets full of cheap trinkets and candy and we'd find them. Eggs were colored the year before, and the rest of Easter was usually spent being lazy. Simple and fun. 

At one point, we were going to church- apparently this is some sort of religious holiday. If I recall, the Easter Bunny dies for our sins and then comes back to life to spend eternity delivering crap to children in the middle of the night? Is that right? Oh wait... Anyway, we were a church-going family for awhile and we'd get dressed in our spring finest, take some pictures, and then head on out to hear about the version of Easter that doesn't include rabbits.

In honor of this holiday, that has been turned into something ginormous and commercial ('tis the American way), I bring to you the Brick Bible- a LEGO version of the Holy Text. Given my love of LEGOS I find this very amusing. It's officially on my Amazon wish list.