Weekend Update/My Blogging Game is Weak

I am on the verge of getting it together- I can feel it. Soon, really soon, all my papers will be graded. My NaNoWriMo project will be rolling. More books will be read. I'll feel like I'm not half-assing this blog. I'll be able to once again be able to pop up into a tripod headstand and run 13.1 miles straight. 

The truth of the matter is that this is probably not true, although I won't let the dream die. This is just my current reality- I work full time, I have a toddler, my husband works late, and I have interests that aren't necessarily conducive to my present life. But, we're happy, we're healthy, and we're getting by. It'll all happen eventually. 

So, instead of coming up with great blog posts this weekend and reading entire novels, I got my hair done. I spent time at the playground, the duck pond, and walking around the same fountain seventeen million times. I drank iced coffee outside in the "fall" weather by myself for four minutes before someone woke up from his nap. I cleaned and did laundry. I snuck away for a few hours for lunch with my husband for our anniversary. I read a book that I just can't seem to get through quickly for a student's project that I'm advising. I wrote a test and graded papers. I talked to my mom. I texted friends. I spent too much money at Ulta. I listened to the new  Adele song that I so adamantly despised approximately sixty-seven times. 

But soon. Soon I'm gonna get it together.

NaNoWriMo Set Up

NaNoWriMo has begun! I (stupidly?) have decided to join this year, despite complaining approximately seventy-eight times a day that "I'm so tired and I have no time to do anything." Whelp, it's time to shut the hell up and put on my big girl panties, since I'm going to somehow manage to write 50,000 words in November. Challenge accepted. 

I guess. I mean, maybe I'll finish? It could happen.

That's the spirit.

As discussed previously, one of my biggest issues, besides time, with NaNoWriMo is that I feel like a lot of subpar writing comes out of it, since people just rush to meet the word count. I have two ideas for large projects that I'm sincerely excited about and I don't want to screw them up like the last time I did NaNoWriMo (I ran with an idea that I thought was decent and just totally massacred it while trying to finish up; the result was a mess that I just want to forget about). 

Enter: The Storymatic. 

I decided that instead of a large novel, I'd write a short story a day. And because I lack the creativity to come up with thirty short story ideas, I started digging around online and found this little box of fun.

The Storymatic is a box of hundreds of cards (the box says that there are "six trillion stories in one little box") that can be used for writing or even as a game. There are many variation on how to utilize the contents, but I'm going for their more traditional, straightforward approach. Every day I will pull two gold cards, which list attributes of your main character, and then two copper cards, which are lead ins for your actual plot. These are the cards I drew yesterday, for day 1:

I sat down late last night and plugged away, making things up as I went, which is typically not how I write at all. It was fun, though, and challenging. Last night I didn't hate what I wrote (and there was no wine involved, so there's a chance that I may have been somewhat accurate), so we'll see when, and if, I go back to edit some day. I was two hundred or so words short of the necessary 1,666 (or whatever it is), so if I keep going I'll have to make it up eventually. 

Tonight I plan to do the same thing, although in the two hours or so that I have to spare between Sawyer's bedtime and mine, I need to get in a quick run, grade some papers, say at least two coherent sentences to my husband, relax for a second, and shower. I have I mentioned this whole NaNoWriMo thing might be a bust? 

October, Revisited, Plus November

I'm a woman of my word (or at least I try to be), so when I posted some goals for October I said I'd publicly hold myself accountable. Honestly, this post is probably more for me than anyone else, but I already wrote the whole thing. So here we are:

1. Learn to turn the water main off- Nope! The weird noise went away and I stopped obsessing about my house flooding. I attempted to look at some pictures online for about three minutes, but I got bored.

2. Take Sawyer to do something autumn-ish- Yup! We went to a huge pumpkin patch with some friends, the Homecoming Carnival at my school, and then the fall festival at the place where he used to go to PT. 

3. Make plans to see friends at least once- Yup! I also had to reschedule some things from this month for next month, so I should be out and about quite a bit in November. I'm not ashamed to say that I'm one of those people that needs to interact with others. 

4. Do yoga or Piyo at least twice a week- Sorta! I've been pretty good about going to yoga on Saturdays and I've done Piyo like twice. Better than last month, but still lots of room for improvement, especially if I'm going to run again. 

5. Make a charitable contribution- Yup! A favorite colleague at work is doing a charity run, so I donated some money towards what he needs to raise. 

6. Leave at least 100 blog comments- Probably not! I started off really strong at the beginning of the month, but definitely tapered off as things got crazy. 

7. Make a new playlist- Yup!  I love seeing what other people are listening t, so, for your amusement/judgement:

8. Walk 80,000 steps a week- Yup! I was up around 90,000 once or twice, too. 

9. Hang you with my husband more- Sorta! I decided that every Thursday I'd play videogames (just the silly Lego ones) with him after Sawyer is in bed, but the past two weeks I was tied up. It's not like we don't see each other or anything, but actually putting down our phones/tablets and designating time to hang out is something to work on.

10. Do things to de-stress at work- It's complicated. But I love my students very much and I enjoy what I do. No job is perfect and accepting the things that are hard along with the things that are great will get you far... most days. 

I'd say that October was a much better month than September, although there have been some bad days and a moment or two where I thought someone had knocked me upside the head with a two-by-four out of basically nowhere. But anyway, I do have to say putting things down like this made me prioritize better and just work harder on certain things. And because I was able to do that I felt happier in general. Naturally this must be replicated.

So, things to work on for November:

1. Read five books- I haven't been reading quite as much as I'd like lately (do we ever, though?).

2. Eat at a new restaurant- We used to do this once a month. Then the child happened; there's no reason we can't still. 

3. Less Diet Coke, more water- Nooooooooooooooooooooooo. But yes. 

4. Make a new recipe a week- I'm in a cooking rut. I try to cook five nights a week, so this has made meal time a bit of a chore.

5. Start (lightly) training- While I'm not going to go balls-to-the-wall on half marathon training it's would be a joke to assume that I'd go in without some sort of base mileage. I want to be that person, who just goes for it, but I'm not.

5. Blog 17 times- I just pulled that number out of my ass, but ever since this school year started my posting has suffered a little bit.

6. Really try to finish NaNoWriMo- Who the hell knows what will happen.

7. Find some sort of not-lame Christmas craft to make- I don't have a ton of Christmas decorations, but I tend to think simple, homemade ones are the nicest. This will unfortunately mean a trip to Michael's, which will take a year or two off my life.

8. Reevaluate my fall/winter wardrobe- Last year I was trying to finish losing pregnancy weight and the year before that I was actually pregnant, so I'm frustrated with my closet. It won't exactly be freezing here, but I do need things and to get rid of those articles of clothing I won't wear anymore. 

9. Go out without Sawyer- We're long overdue for a night out without the little munchkin. My birthday is this month, Scott's is next, and our anniversary is next week, so maybe we can lump it all into a night out in the next few weeks. 

10. Throw out or store a bag of junk a week- I'm a minimalist and with the holidays approaching it's time to downsize. 

(Possibly) Poor Choices I (Sort of) Made Over the Weekend

[unrelated: is it fall? or the drought? fun California game]

I signed up for NaNoWriMo, which is ridiculous because I have no free time at all, yet am attempting to commit to write 50,000 words in thirty days. I've been feeling the need for a project outside of work and the house, though, so timing-wise this worked out. I'm not going to write a novel and plan to go about things differently from last time, which I'll post about later. I'm skeptical about whether or not I'll finish, but I'm hoping that I end up focusing on the fun instead of just being competitive.

I got too carried away in the negativity department by dwelling on a few things that appear to basically be resolved at this point (knock on wood, if you believe in that sort of things). At the time it didn't seem like a choice, but in retrospect I need to learn to better recognize when this is happening and shake it off sooner. On the other hand, we are all entitled to occasional bad moods, but this one ended up being a total waste of time and energy. I'm pretty confident it was catalyzed at least partially by exhaustion, since on Sunday I was able to take a very, very rare ninety minute nap right after drinking a huge coffee. And I still woke up tired!  While not fun at the time, it does serve as a lesson to take better care of myself, I guess. 

This one is most absurd, considering my foot pain and lack of desire to train: I signed up for the Surf City Half Marathon in February. In my defense, I had signed up last year but deferred because life was super hard and I didn't want to complicate matters with dealing with childcare, breastfeeding logistics, motivation, etc... Part of the reason I went for it was because my husband was nice enough to tell me that he was cool with me spending the night before the race at the beach. Alone. In a hotel. By MYSELF. I don't really intend on training, and since the time limit only requires 3 mph I could saunter the whole time listening to podcasts or audiobooks and still make it time for a medal and bagel. 

About NaNoWriMo...

A few years ago I successfully completed NaNoWriMo (they host a writing project every November that challenges people to write a short novel- 40,000 words). A colleague did it as well and we had fun comparing our total and motivating each other. I felt creative, inspired, and it made me cling to some hope that maybe someday I could become a world-famous novelist whose wardrobe consisted purely of Anthro dresses and was contractually obligated to tour awesome cities for readings. So fun. So unrealistic.

Here's the thing- the process was great, but the product, not so much. I didn't pursue finishing it (40,000 words is not a novel; it's a novella) and I ended up not really liking where I went with it because I felt so pressured into finishing it.

I'm fairly convinced that I'm not going to do it again this year, but the competitive side of me is trying to take over (so typical). So, in order to sort out my super complicated thoughts on this really critical, life-altering decision (I kid), I made one of my favorite things ever: 

I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I need to figure out some sort of plan to start writing for fun again (other than blogging). It's like everyone's lotto fantasy- you can never win if you don't play. 

I Quit You, NaNoWriMo!

I'm quitting NaNoWriMo. We're over half way in and I've only made a minute amount of progress- it's not going to happen.

I could come up with some valid, intelligent, practical excuses. For example, rushing through 50,000 words tends to lead to some pretty shitty writing. That I need to let the writing come organically, rather than forcing it. That the whole concept is amateur and laughable. But I don't believe any of that. I think that NaNoWriMo is an excellent way to light a fire under a slow-going writer's ass (like myself)- those little charts are quite motivating! What you produce during the month is never intended to be a final draft- it's a starting point. And while there may be some amateurish undertones, that's okay- we are beginners to various degrees. 

So why am I withdrawing? I don't have time. Scratch that- I don't want to make time. In order to maintain pace I have to put in anywhere from 90-120 minutes a day, and then if I were to get behind at all you have to adjust. Between work obligations (normal grading, a million letters of rec, daily personal statement proofreading sessions, teaching myself to appreciate Sylvia Plath), trying to stay active so I don't blow up like a balloon (usually 75 minutes of walking a day), time with husband and friends, my new 10 pm bedtime, and everything else I like to do I just don't want to carve out additional time to write. Plus I'll have house guests for 6 days starting next Sunday, which requires juuuuust a little bit of attention as well.

I also have problems with obligations. As soon a I feel forced to do something I become resentful. It could be something I love doing, with one of my favorite people, but as soon as I feel like I can't get out of it my hackles go up ever so slightly. I can't help it. I really love the project I'm currently working on and I don't want to hate it, which I fear NaNoWriMo may provoke.

To all of you who are still plugging away- keep going! I truly think NaNoWriMo is an awesome concept and that anything that motivate writers to be productive is a positive thing. Good luck!

Weekend Update- Reading and Writing

I don't know about you, but this is a three-day weekend for me and I couldn't be happier. Besides two (!?- usually we barely manage one) anniversary dinners, working on some Christmas projects, lots of walking, and the normal crappy domestic chores, this is shaping up to be weekend heavy on the reading and writing. No complaints here.

Reading:

Orange is the New Black- I'm taking part in a virtual book club at the blog Love at First Book and have read half of it. So far it is very, very different from the Netflix series (which I loved), but still interesting. I still firmly believe I'd do terribly in prison.

The Bell Jar- I told my students they could read this book and then take an extra credit quiz, which is on Tuesday, so I'd better get with the program. I keep picturing Esther as a skinner Lena Dunham. And yes, I am ashamed that I've never read it.

Sylvia Plath Poems- Is anyone actually confused as to why she put her head in the oven?

Running in the Family tests- A necessary evil, I'm afraid. Shockingly they haven't been doing too bad.

Articles on the Philippines- Anything I say will be trite and pointless compared to the devastation those poor people have faced.

The Astronauts Wives Club (well, listening)- I've been walking the dogs for at least 35-45 minutes a day, so this went by pretty fast (I just finished it on our walk this morning). It was interesting, but the narrator did voices- no thanks.

Writing:

NaNoWriMo- I'm not caught up, or anywhere close. I think the fact that I've gone into this in middle of a project is causing a problem. Overall I think it's a great problem to have, but still, it's making me lazy.

The Bell Jar Extra Credit Quiz- True or false: Esther Greenwood needs some Xanax.

Blog Posts- Obviously.

Letters of Rec- 'Tis the season! Luckily I know most of my students really, really well so it's more tedious than difficult. I only need to do a few this weekend, which is great compared to the marathon Sunday I had a few weeks ago. 

You? Read? Written?

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

Leave your link below!

1. I seriously don't understand cheering for a college team that represents a school that you did not attend (ahem Ducks/USC/Stanford/Texas A&M fans). Where's your school loyalty? And why does it seem like just the huge, big schools have all of these extraneous fans? Why doesn't, say, I don't know, New Mexico state? Why like Oregon or USC or whatever instead of New Mexico? I just don't understand. Please explain it to me.

2. I'm getting a flu shot for the first time on Friday. I'll do the actual shot, as opposed to the spray with the live virus, so I'm not worried about getting sick. All the doctors and experts recommend for people in my situation- the idea of being knocked on my soon-to-be fat ass with the flu seems pretty unattractive. 

3. This month I'm aiming to walk the equivalent to a "5k a day" (isn't it catchy?). Some days more, some days none, but I'm hoping that by the end of the month I'll end up somewhere around 90-100 miles. I also returned to yoga  last night and I'm getting an indoor trainer for my bike for my birthday, so exercise is definitely being amped up in November. I could not be happier.

4. NaNoWriMo is not going well. Let's just leave it at that for right now.

5. I have to confess a terrible, irrational fear that I have (well one of them, anyway): restarting, updating, and turning off my laptop or iPhone legitimately scares me. I wish I was joking, but when I installed the updates to my laptop last week I hovered around and started to panic when the reboot screen was on for what I felt was too long. Thankfully some smooth-talking and gentle petting brought it back to status quo.

[source]

6. As I write this I'm supposed to be looking for a new restaurant to make reservations at for our upcoming anniversary. And yet once again I'm reminded that not only does my area have shitty hospitals and very little culture, it also has the worst options for foods (unless you like chains, than we've got them all). I'm trying to find somewhere new and cool within a thirty mile radius and it's not happening. Time to expand the search.

7. My family (as in my mom and siblings) have agreed to minimize Christmas gift giving a bit this year- we're all just happy to have vacation time at this point. I so love that we decided on this, and not just because it means less expenditures, haha. We're all adults- we have what we want and we don't really need anything. The holiday gimmies are so out of control in our society.

 

8. I'm making myself an awesome thirtieth birthday with lots of sprinkles and could give two fucks about what anyone thinks (that doesn't so defensive or anything...). I love baking, I prefer homemade, and I'm guaranteed to get what I want. And no I'm not sharing. Some possible contenders:

[classic Devil's Food Cake; source]

 

 

[Salted Caramel Six Layer Chocolate Cake; source]

 

[That Chocolate Cake; source]

[Chocolate Cake with PB Frosting; source]

There's a trend...

 

9. I just started Sylvia Plath poetry with my students and have began reading The Bell Jar. Might as well kick off the holiday season with some uplifting cheeriness, right? Just as long as no one puts their head in the oven...

10. You know what the fox says? The fox says "shut the fuck up and leave me alone," that's what the fox says. My students discovered the video six weeks after my husband showed me and will occasionally as "what does a fox say" when I ask if they have any questions. What's next, a video for a giraffe?

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

1. After reading about this board on Annie's Eats this morning, I am obsessed with the "My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter" Pinterest board. A woman named Tiffany Beveridge created it for her "daughter" Quinoa, satirizing the mini-members of the upper-crust (and modeling industry).

2. I haven't wanted to say anything and jinx it, but I've been working on a new writing project for awhile. I've put what I was working on during NaNoWriMo last November on an indefinite hold and have started something completely new. I think NaNoWriMo was a great experience and fantastic exercise, but towards the end I started dreading sitting down at the computer to write. This time it's much different- I look forward to working and am excited with the direction I'm heading. Don't worry, I won't quit blogging when I sell the manuscript to a major publisher and start my whirlwind book tour wearing nothing but all the new Anthro dresses I'll buy with my advance money.

[one day I will own all the dresses]

3. I just finished The Love Song of Jonny Valentine by Teddy Wayne last night and while I'm still letting the book sort of, shall we say, percolate, I think it has a lot less depth than I thought it would. Not that it was bad- it was definitely entertaining, it just turned out being a little too obvious and surface-level for me (and then I start doubting myself, thinking "Wait! What if that's what the author wanted, and there's still another layer of meaning under that!"). 

4. I took Chomsky into the vet last week to have a little spot on his face checked and the official diagnosis was "he's a fatty." The dog weighed in at a solid 105 pounds, up ten pounds from the last time he was in several months ago (and at that point he needed to lose five). He tried to convince me it was muscle from all the swimming, but I'm not buying it. I said he had two choices: either eat less or get doggy lap band. He considered both options carefully and opted to reduce his calories. He's been tracking his macros (fat, protein, and carbs) on the app for his phone for a week now and I plan to drive him back to the vet next month to see if he's made progress. Until then we'll just continue breaking down his self-esteem until he can't stand the site of food. 

[I'm so fat and depressed]

5. I know I can save 5% on my entire purchase if I use my Target Debit Card. Trust me, I hear the spiel at least once a week. I understand it's not a credit card, I do. No please stop asking me and respect my decision to not fill my wallet with anymore cards.

6. The Booker Long List came out this week and I have yet to sit down with Amazon's UK site to try to find some more synopses. I've been a little disappointed with their picks the last year or two (not that they were bad books, just not my taste), so hopefully this year I can find a few (other than the Ozeki one, which I've already been looking at) to buy at some point.

7. The other day I decided that my perfect triathalon would be biking, hiking, and yoga. If this did actually exist, then Tuesday I did a brick training session for it (two of the sports back-to-back). I drove down to the bike trail and did twelve miles (and ran into my grandpa!) and then went to a yoga class. Luckily I wasn't sore at all, just really, really damn tired. 

8. Sometimes I get really nostalgic for the games my sister and I used to play on our computer growing up. We had Kid Pix, Oregon Trail, Number One Agent, Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure, and Sim City. I was pretty good at all of them! And now I play LEGO Lord of the Rings and it takes me fifteen goddamn minutes to figure out how to combine a fish, egg, and tomato in Sam's frying pan.

[Source]

9. I can't stop eating these these Avocado and Fried Egg Pitas this week, nor can I stop roasting broccoli. Tonight I plan on making these Browned Butter Rice Krispy Treats (with some peanut butter and chocolate chips) to share with my grandparents when I see them for a bike ride and lunch tomorrow.

[source- Smitten Kitchen]

10. I hate it when teachers say they're "ready to go back to work" during summer vacation. With all-do respect, shut the hell up! No! This is a magical, beautiful time in our lives and you should abs-fucking-lutely not be ready to go back. Need something to do? Read a book. Sleep in. Watch TV. Learn how to knit. Write letters to prison inmates. I don't care, just shut the hell up and stop messing with the universe. 

Bookish (and not so Bookish) Thoughts

1. Spring break is approximately a day away and I cannot wait. I'm starting off Saturday with a trapeze class with my sister and then family get together. And then a whole bunch of friend time and sleeping in. And reading.

2. I am so proud that so many of my friends changed their profile pictures on Facebook this week to the red square (does it have an official name) to support marriage equality. I could write a whole rant on how outraged I am that gay couples still can't marry but I won't today. Let's just say in thirty years when this has blown over and everyone can marry it will be interesting to see who feel ridiculous and unfair. It's like people who participated in segregation fifty years ago. What does it even matter? Two lesbians getting married has jack crap to do with my marriage. And don't even throw the Bible at it- seperation of church and freakin' state, thankyouverymuch.

3. Speaking of things that are disgusting, I just learned the other the day that there is a scene in Fifty Shades of Grey in which they guy takes her tampon out for her? What the hell? Why? What? Whaaaaaaat? How is that hot? How is that sexy? How could you consider anything else between the two erotic after that happened? Excuse me while I go vomit. Be right back.

4. I keep finding old to do lists with things like "write 5,000 words," and "write 10,000 words," and "finish!" on them. Oh NaNoWriMo, I miss you a little bit.

5. I hate to brag, but I get to go to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (or Harry Potter World as I call it) this summer. And then on a cruise. But first we'll down some Butter Beer and go to Olivander's for some wand action. I need to watch all the movies, for the first time, before then (one down....). 

[photo by Jen Blum; source]

6. Tonight is parent teacher conference night- basically all of us teachers sit behind tables in the gym for three and a half hours and talked to parents. Last time I ended up with about 60 students attending- it was exhausting. I always complain about these nights but I usually end up leaving pretty satisfied that I was able to talk to so many families.

7. The seniors at school are getting their college acceptance letters- I mean emails. I remember back in the day it was all about the envelope size- small meant you were probably rejected and a bigger packet meant you were in. I wasn't home when mine came from UCLA, so I called my mom- all she had to say was that it was a big one and I knew that it was a done deal. 

8. Tuesday, when I couldn't find my passport (long story, but it has been located) I came home and had a spoonful of ice cream with a squirt of writing-icing on top. I feel like I need to confess- it was a stress eating at its finest. But I must say, it was really delicious.

9. My husband introduced me to The Nerdist podcasts and I can't stop listening to them while I drive home. Chris Hardwick (do you remember his from Singled Out?) is one cool dude, and he gets really great guests- I'm listening to Judd Apatow right now and just finished up Tina Fey, Steve Carell, and Anna Kendrick. 

10.  If you are over twenty-one years of age please buy a bottle of Bombay Sapphire and Diet Squirt. Mix to your liking. You're welcome.

Top Ten Tuesday- The Memories

Believe it or not, I'm a pretty nostalgic girl. I have photo albums stuffed full of pictures of family and friends starting from around age fifteen. I get a little teary when I think about a group of seniors who are abandoning me this year. I like to reminisce about our first year of dating with my husband. And as far as the bad memories go, I shut those out like anyone else whose mastered the art of denial. This week the Broke and the Bookish ask us to take a walk down memory lane, listing our top ten bookish memories.

1. Getting frosting on the jacket of my brand-new copy of Charlotte's Web when I was five. I got the book for Christmas and then took it to whatever gathering we were at and I got bright blue smudge on the front. I was so pissed.

2. Chomsky, my chocolate lab, tearing the crap out of my The Marriage Plot book. He had never really destroyed something of actual value and I have never physically felt my blood pressure increase so rapidly before. I was so pissed. Again.

[Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta]

3. Starting this blog. I had had a bad attitude about the blog world before this; there are a lot of boring, poorly written, annoying blogs out there! And then I got laid off and became really, really scared about what I would do all summer with the big grey cloud of unemployment hanging over me- I needed a project. Luckily, I was hired back a few months later, but the blog idea stuck. 

4. My husband and I met in a Detective Fiction class at UCLA. We were studying for the final and he was trying to cram as much information into my head as possible about Alaine Robbet-Grillet's The Erasers, since I hadn't read it. All I remember is that he kept telling me not to forget something that was sure to be a question, and, sure enough I did. And yes, I do intend one day to go back and read it. Maybe. I think I got a B in the class, but I managed to get a boyfriend, so that was cool.

5. The first reading I ever went to was Chuck Palahniuk, back when he was still relatively decent. It was at the Borders (aw, do you remember Borders?) on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica and you had to get tickets earlier in the day. After we went back later that evening we were packed in upstairs and given meat air freshners- and then had to wait another hour for him to come out. It was a really cooky event, but I remember loving it- these people really loved books and were willing to give up an evening to see him. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I realized readings existed before this (I was nineteen or twenty, in my defnese). 

6. Reading Tortilla Curtain by TC Boyle is one of my most vivid reading experiences ever. For those that are not familiar with the story, it deals with the issue of illegal immigration in Southern California. I finished the book and wanted to buy copies for every conservative I knew. I felt for the characters in ways I had never had before. Working with the population I work with the cause was especially near and dear to my heart.

7. The only time I've ever come close to crying in front of my students was when I read them the student version of Marley and Me. It was horrible- I was drinking water, coughing, and yelling at kids to pay attention that really were, just so I wouldn't start bawling over that poor dead dog. In retrospect it probably would have been fine for them to see me upset; kids need to know that emotions are normal and that teachers are human. 

 

8. Packing up all my books and moving to our house, where I then got to set them up in our great room was such a laborious, fun experience. I remember feeling a little sad as I packed them up, but also enjoyed looking at ones I had forgotten about. And then I got to reorganize everything it the new house into four bookshelves instead of three. You have no idea how much joy this brought me- my babies had room to breathe.

9. Finishing Underworld was such an anti-climatic, yet satisfying event last summer. I guess I thought there would be maybe, like, a fireworks show in my honor when I finished it, but alas, nothing. On the other hand, that bitch is done. 

10. NaNoWriMo last November was absolutely insane, and is something I will remember forever. I didn't do the best job pacing myself and really felt it at the end. I actually pulled out what I have so far the other day and added six or seven hundred words. Something I definitely need to put more effort into. 

Returning to the Scene of the Crime

Today I decided that after approximately 39 days I'd revisit the 50,038 word monstrosity that was my NaNoWriMo manuscript. It had been hanging over my head for weeks and I know that if there is any hope of moving forward with it I've got to become reacquainted with the project. I guess it's a bit like dating- you can't see everyone every day for a month and then expect them to stick around while you take months off. So today is important: it's either a booty call or a promise ring (seriously, who does that other than religious kids trying to justify premarital sex?).

[ring source]

My first thought, the one that has been bothering my since I ditched the bitch back on November 30, was the issue of length (size is always such an issue). Right now I'm hovering somewhere around 140 pages in terms of actual print/novel layout, and I feel like the natural end of the story is coming in the next twenty or thirty pages. I know that a lot of what I have written already will need to be expanded on, but I'm not sure how much space that will buy me. I wouldn't feel comfortable pursuing something that's less than 240 or 250 pages (that's just me). Realistically, I need to not worry about this, but I don't want the book to fall into novella territory (not that there are anything wrong with novellas).

Another problem I'm having is with the main character's ex-boyfriend (I promise, this is not a love story in any way) and his dog. He let's her have it when they break up, despite the fact that she's a terrible partner to him and, although unbeknownst to him, frequently engages in very casual sex with the janitor at her work. He needs to take Frieda (the dog) back. Or she needs to tell him that she died. Both are just too painful for me to write, but I know it's the right thing to do for the story. This, of course, really isn't a big issue, but I know as a reader the way I have it right now would bother me. I would write mean, snarky comments in my Amazon review that would tell the author that she needed to "grow a pair." 

I also know that I should read what I have so far, as a refresher. I didn't reread at all during November, since time was an issue. Part of me is tempted to continue down this "write all willy-nilly" path and plow through until I reach the end. Honestly, I don't want to. I know that it's a bit of a mess and I will naturally start editing, which I don't want to do until the end. 

I need to finish choosing character names. My main character and her siblings were easy; they were each named after a geographical location, since their father founded a travel empire of sorts. It's the other, lesser characters that trip me up. There's one character, whose purposefully generic, so I just put in a new generic name like "John," "Joe," or "Jim" every time I get to him because I can't remember which boring name I used last (my apologies if one of those are your name; but you got to admit, you're no Umeko or Quinby).

Characters are another issue- I feel like the story as a whole could benefit from a few more solid characters. This of course means additional work. I'd have to write them into what already exists and would have to develop their personalities, back stories, and importance. Again, this seems like a lot of work. 

At the end of the day the main question is whether or not this story has enough potential for me to spend time and energy continuing. I'm not at the point where I'm ready to share, so this is a decision I have to make on my own. Considering what I've already put into it I think I owe it to myself to continue. Like I said previously, I'd like to bust out a draft by the end of the school year (so the first week in June) and then spend the summer editing, getting feedback, and making next-step decisions. 

I'd like to say I'm going to actually go work on the Untitled Monkey on My Back, but I'm actually going to go stare out the window waiting for UPS to deliver the ARC of The Antagonist by Lynn Coady. But tomorrow it's totally going to happen. 

 

Eff Off, 2012/Top Ten Books of the Year/Resolutions

[If you are here for the Top Ten Tuesday from the Broke and the Bookish, please scroll waaaaaay down for my ten "bookish goals" for 2013 (sorry!). And if you're a follower and have already read them, check out The Holden Caulfield Drinking Game post instead. Thanks so much for stopping by!]

This is a long post. Hopefully my delightful wit and fascinating commentary will hook you in. If not, you can always go read about Kim K's pregnancy on People.com. 

I tend to get a little nostalgic this time of the year- I take stock, reflect, and plan. 2012 was definitely not my favorite year- it brought a great deal of challenges personally and at times professionally. And while not all were bad, the accompanying stress hasn't been appreciated in the slightest (don't you love it when people allude to juicy information and then fail to throw you a bone?). And, for the record, I think it's okay to have "so-so" or even bad years- it makes the great ones that much better. In the whole "scope of life" things could have been much worse, and for that I am thankful. I'm still married, live in a pretty nice house, have the health of my prized pups, am fortunate enough to have a steady gig, and have great friends. I faced some fears this year (skydiving!), took some fun little trips (Yosemite to climb Half Dome again, San Diego, Vegas, Arizona), nailed some projects (blanket making, NaNoWriMo's 40,000 word count, working on my yoga moves), and have tried to get out and "do things" (museums, readings, restaurants).

Oh, and I read some books. 60 of them, to be exact, giving me an average of 5 books per month, compared to the 38 I read last year, at a measly 3.17 books per month.

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And, without further adieu, in no particular order:

Top Ten of 2012

1.  What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami- I just finished this short memoir today and loved the marriage between writing and running that Murakami creates.  This is by far the best running book I've ever read; a post devoted to it and my complicated relationship with running will be up soon.

2. Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt- The writing and the story were both spot on- I was hooked from page one. Brunt tells the story of a teenaged protagonist who loses her beloved uncle to AIDS. If you read just one book on this list, let it be this one.

3. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach- I read this book as my Giants slowly maneuvered their way into first place in the NL West, making it an even more appropriate read for me. But it's not just about baseball- it's a coming of age story that will make you care about the characters and their futures. 

4. Family Fang by Kevin Wilson- The two words that perfectly describe this book is fucking hilarious. I've written about it many times before, so I'll spare you the details, but if you need a laugh read it.

5. Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn- This isn't exactly a literary feat, but I really, really loved this quirky little story about the island that loses letters of their alphabet. 

6. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer- Another one I've written about before, this is the story of a man who decides to climb Everest. It's adventurous and exciting and had been read by pretty much everyone but me prior to January 2012.

7. Habibi by Craig Thompson- The first graphic novel I had ever read, this one was the way to go. I still don't feel completely comfortable reading these, but I'll get there.

8. Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer- I stopped eating meat early last year and read this soon after. I learned a lot, and while I'm still struggling with making sure my body has what it needs, I do think that relying as little as possible on meat is the way to go.

9. The Barbarian Nurseries by Hector Tobar- While I definitely am by no means a social activist, I am interested in the sociological and economic implications of immigration in Southern California. Combined with the recession and the dynamics of marriage, Tobar creates a fascinating story.

10. When the Killing's Done by TC Boyle- The fact that this is by the TC Boyle aside, I loved the questions this book left me with in terms of what my stance is on certain environmental issues.

Resolutions

Some people don't like resolutions, but I do. And while I have some in my mysterious, hush hush personal life that I won't mention (basically, I want to quit stripping, stop spending all my money on blow, and find Jesus), I do have some in regards to reading, books and blogging. So here we are:

1. Read 61 books

2. Go to at least 10 readings

3. Visit the Huntington Library again

4. Check out some of the few independent bookstores left in LA

5. Consider moving the blog to a different format/host (a big we'll see)

6. Continue to grow the blog by being super smart and funny

7. Read at least 2 graphic novels

8. Read at least 10 nonfiction works

9. Read at least 5 "classics"

10. Finish a draft of my novel by the end of the school year, work on editing during summer break, and then go from there

The End

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Years and that 2013 brings you loads of awesome shit.

Bookish (and Not So Bookish) Thoughts- Things I Don't Like Edition

1. The Hobbit- I'm about half way through and while I'm not saying it's bad, I'm definitely not enjoying it. The bright spot is that sneaky little Gollum. Bilboa, on the other hand is a whiny twat (at least so far). "Waaah my clothes got messed up." "Waaah I don't want to go on an adventure." "Waaah there are dwarves in my house and I don't want to make them breakfast." He reminds me of Luke Skywalker- everyone loves him but really he's just an annoying stupid bitch. 

2. The new iTunes- The old one was just fine, thanks.

3. Dog hair- The Golden is shedding like it's summer. It's ridiculous. 

4. Being nice when people want to talk about shitty books- I was just at the Honda dealer and when the guy handling my car found out that I was an English teacher he wanted to tell me about this really good author, James Patterson. He followed up with Dan Brown. But because I'm only a douchebag on the inside, I had to smile and say "Yeah, people really seem to like them." 

5. Life's bullshit- I'm fairly certain that the power(s) that be are/is constantly testing my strength, patience, and faith in humanity. Like on a daily basis.

6. 50 Shades of Grey (still)- A student asked me if I wanted to borrow her copy. This time the douchebag on the inside appeared on the outside- I believe my exact words were "Get out of my classroom, I don't want your taste for bad books to rub on everyone else." It was a joke (said while shaking head vigorously).

7. Speaking in front of others- I had to do a brief presentation with two colleagues yesterday in front of the entire staff (so like 100 people) and it was torture. And it was absolutely made worse by the fact that I had to pee like a mofo and had to remember who not to look at so I didn't laugh.

[Or in my case pee themselves]

8. NaNoWriMo break- I haven't even looked at my NanoWriMo draft since I finished it on November thirtieth. I've only just started thinking about it again, to be honest. I know that sometimes a break can be good, but part of me thinks that if I was really that into it I wouldn't just abandon it for almost three weeks straight.

9. Wine shortage- I'm out of wine. I'd really like a glass right now and I'm out. And, just to be totally and completely honest, I'm not a real wine drinker- I only like moscatos, torrontes, things like that. Anyway, the only alcohol I have is beer from our party over the summer, a shot's worth of old gin, and three or four mostly-empty bottles of flavored vodka. Unfortunately, vodka doesn't quite work with the soup I'm planning on having for dinner tonight. And even if it did, there's something kind of, I don't know, culturally unacceptable, about throwing back a couple of shots of vodka with dinner on a Wednesday night. Toto, we are not in college anymore. 

10. Shit talking about teachers' vacation time- Listsen, assholes, we don't get these mysterious holiday bonuses everyone else does. Plus, we have to deal with your children more hours a day than you do. So yeah, shut up.

Festive, ain't it?