Bookish (and Not So Bookish) Thoughts- Things I Don't Like Edition

1. The Hobbit- I'm about half way through and while I'm not saying it's bad, I'm definitely not enjoying it. The bright spot is that sneaky little Gollum. Bilboa, on the other hand is a whiny twat (at least so far). "Waaah my clothes got messed up." "Waaah I don't want to go on an adventure." "Waaah there are dwarves in my house and I don't want to make them breakfast." He reminds me of Luke Skywalker- everyone loves him but really he's just an annoying stupid bitch. 

2. The new iTunes- The old one was just fine, thanks.

3. Dog hair- The Golden is shedding like it's summer. It's ridiculous. 

4. Being nice when people want to talk about shitty books- I was just at the Honda dealer and when the guy handling my car found out that I was an English teacher he wanted to tell me about this really good author, James Patterson. He followed up with Dan Brown. But because I'm only a douchebag on the inside, I had to smile and say "Yeah, people really seem to like them." 

5. Life's bullshit- I'm fairly certain that the power(s) that be are/is constantly testing my strength, patience, and faith in humanity. Like on a daily basis.

6. 50 Shades of Grey (still)- A student asked me if I wanted to borrow her copy. This time the douchebag on the inside appeared on the outside- I believe my exact words were "Get out of my classroom, I don't want your taste for bad books to rub on everyone else." It was a joke (said while shaking head vigorously).

7. Speaking in front of others- I had to do a brief presentation with two colleagues yesterday in front of the entire staff (so like 100 people) and it was torture. And it was absolutely made worse by the fact that I had to pee like a mofo and had to remember who not to look at so I didn't laugh.

[Or in my case pee themselves]

8. NaNoWriMo break- I haven't even looked at my NanoWriMo draft since I finished it on November thirtieth. I've only just started thinking about it again, to be honest. I know that sometimes a break can be good, but part of me thinks that if I was really that into it I wouldn't just abandon it for almost three weeks straight.

9. Wine shortage- I'm out of wine. I'd really like a glass right now and I'm out. And, just to be totally and completely honest, I'm not a real wine drinker- I only like moscatos, torrontes, things like that. Anyway, the only alcohol I have is beer from our party over the summer, a shot's worth of old gin, and three or four mostly-empty bottles of flavored vodka. Unfortunately, vodka doesn't quite work with the soup I'm planning on having for dinner tonight. And even if it did, there's something kind of, I don't know, culturally unacceptable, about throwing back a couple of shots of vodka with dinner on a Wednesday night. Toto, we are not in college anymore. 

10. Shit talking about teachers' vacation time- Listsen, assholes, we don't get these mysterious holiday bonuses everyone else does. Plus, we have to deal with your children more hours a day than you do. So yeah, shut up.

Festive, ain't it?


  1. Presentations - no me gusta! The most nerve-wracking one I ever participated in involved presenting to all the other English teachers in the district at the beginning of year professional development. No one wanted to be there, and they are English teachers! I somehow had an out of body experience and did really well. But I was so effing glad when it was over! I'm sure your 2 mintues went well. But I'm with you - I prefer presenting to students, not my peers!*

  2. if you'd had a glass of wine, I'd toast you on #2....don't like the new itunes either

  3. I hated the Hobbit. The Boy wants to watch the movie... I don't think I can.
    We have a Golden Retriever too - and it IS summer here.
    Also, you sound like my high school teacher from high school - she would have said the same thing about 50 Shades, and we all would have laughed along :)
    Hope you feel more cheerful today!