Pregnant With Anderson's Baby and Moving to Tahiti

April Fools' Day, and all those cutesy little "gotcha" jokes are so lame. A lot of the blogs I read are taking part, so there's a 99.9% chance I'm going offend someone who reads this- sorry, but I'm too cynical to let this go.

I know, I know, it's supposed to be a blog about reading. Blablabla. But there IS a connection, give me a second.

First of all, if you announce it today, NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE that you are:
a. engaged
b. getting a divorce
c. moving
d. knocked up
e. gay (I guess that depends)
f. suddenly wealthy
g. [insert random life-changing exploit here]

Secondly, this holiday is extremely old; scholars (may) have traced it back to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in 1392 (see, relevant). These people didn't really have much for entertainment back in the day, so waking up poor old Parson Bob before dawn to tell him his cow was humping a horse, or whatever, was actually funny. They were desperate- humor, irony, and wit were still evolving elements of society. But come on folks, it's 2011! Oh wait, that's right. This is a society that will pay twelve dollars to go watch Adam Sandler and Kevin James kick each other in the balls and pee in a pool for laughs.

Do not even give me those "it's fun" or "it's tradition" excuses. Fun is loading up my cart with books on Amazon and tradition is going on vacation during Christmas to avoid deciding what family to spend it with.

If you really want to be funny, save your true big news for the the first. Wait to tell your husband you're cheating on him, your mom your pregnant with triplets and moving back home, or your best friend that she needs to lose thirty pounds until the day that no one would possibly believe you.

Good luck and stay strong, folks. No one wants to be a Gullible Gus.

Oh, and I'm leaving my husband, pregnant with Anderson Cooper's baby, and moving to Tahiti, just to let everyone know.


  1. I am definitely not into April Fool's jokes. Just not all that funny.

  2. What the heck! You didn't tell me your were pregnant on our run!! How the hell did you meet Anderson Cooper? You slut! haha j/k

    I hate April Fools totally bugged on Facebook. I was going to fool my mom and tell her I was pregnant, but now that she wants me to be, I think that'll just break her heart!

  3. Congrats on the baby! I bet she will be a little reader just like her mama! Ha! But seriously can you make a list of must reads for me for this SB/summer? I trust your opinions!!!