It's a weird time of year, at least for me. The holidays and their madness are over, summer vacation seems a little too far away to get excited yet, and there's nothing seriously big looming on the horizon. Sure, I have a trip up north planned for spring break and some little things here and there, but I've just been feeling this general sense of... ennui. I sort of hate this word and think it sounds pretentious, but it perfectly articulates the not bad, not good, state of being I've been in lately. Dissatisfied. Uninspired. Frustrated. Stunted. Stagnant. I know that a lot of this is can be attributed to not having a restful night of sleep in two months and the doom and gloom in the news every.single.day, but still. Blah.
|[I am always impressed, and inspired, by his complete happiness]|
|[getting more technical and scientific about cooking- a challenge]|
But over the last week or so, the weather has gotten warmer and the days longer. I have been hyper-efficient at work and don't feel as inundated there as I normally do. So slowly, I've been feeling more inspired. Inspired to make improvements, pursue hobbies, and relax. Inspired to bring about little changes here and there. It's been good, and even better considering the little things that have gotten me to this point.
|[Ann Patchett has made me truly want to be a writer again]|
|[Sawyer has a book that says "nature is magic"- it's so right]|
I don't regret these transitional times, though. Sure, they're frustrating and make me feel lazy (laziness is my arch-nemesis), but this sort of feeling is so important. It's akin to my belief that kids should feel boredom, regularly. It's motivating and serves as a catalyst for change, whether in attitude, schedule, or environment. Obviously for some people it's a sign of something a bit more serious, but for me it's a wake up call that I need to take the bull by the horns and mix things up a bit, or just reconnect to what's important.
So I am, and I will.