God Bless the Fireworks. And Books.

Apparently there's a holiday today. I think it's National Sit Outside In the Heat Barbequing While Dressed Like a Flag Day, or something along those lines. Fine, fine, fine. It's the Fourth of July. God Bless America.

I just heard the Pledge of Allegiance set to music while in the grocery store. Words can not describe how bad it was.

I really don't understand why every activity associated with this holiday occurs outside- it's July, people! One of the hottest, if not the hottest, month of the year. I am baffled. Fireworks also confuse me. Let's spend money to buy things that are lit on fire and disappear within seconds? Really? I know most cities do shows now, but the cash has to come from somewhere. But, then again, this is America, land of money-wasters and pyromaniacs. Maybe I'm just bitter because our annual 4th of July tradition has been to do jack shit, but I'm leaning towards no. I just don't think sitting outside in the sweltering heat is fun, no matter how many margaritas I've consumed or how awesome so-and-so's homemade BBQ sauce is.

If I could control the weather I may be more likely to lather on some SPF, eat some corn on the cob and muster up an "oooo" or "ahhhh" at the fireworks (just please don't ask me to wear red, white and blue). This, of course, makes me think of a book. Like that? It takes skill to find a book to back up the bitching.

In Going to See the Elephant, by Rodes Fishburne, this notion of controlling the weather is actually a possibility. The novel is set in San Francisco and is about a young man trying to make it in the newspaper industry. The novel is well-written, is humorous, and has many great characters, including the inventor Milo Magnet who firmly believer he possesses enough genius to direct the clouds and their precipitation. And he actually experiences some success- and some failure. As a first-time novelist, Fishburne does a fantastic job, although there were many readers and critics who didn't really get what he was trying to do. If you're willing to appreciate the whimsy and imagination of the novel, give it a try (it's a very quick read). I read this in 2008 when it came out and am hoping he's coming out with something again soon.

So, Milo, if you're reading this, next year I'd like to trade in the 95 degree temperatures for something in the comfortable 70-75 range, please. Maybe then you could also throw in some rain, eliminate the droughts and allow those "Star Spangled Banner" singing, beer drinking, meat grilling patriots of the world to light firecrackers on their driveways. I mean, sheesh, we're America. We let the weather dictate where we burn shit up? I don't think anyone checked what the forecast was in Afghanistan. I mean- okay, I'll stop. S

I hope everyone is having a blast, whether you're smart and sitting in the AC or showing your love for the country sweating in a lawn chair. And no, I'm not a US of A hater; I appreciate my life in our country, I just don't like holidays where gifts aren't involved.